I watched the lectures I missed in person religiously through the online recordings.
After hearing those words from Seungjo, I didn’t even want to see his face on a monitor, but habit was a terrifying thing. I felt anxious if I didn’t watch them.
The lectures proceeded smoothly until the end of the semester. It was a perfect finish, like a work of art, right until the very last moment.
It felt like a message rebuking me, asking if I really thought a mere assistant could have even the slightest impact on his great lectures.
When the playback ended, my foolish face appeared on the blackened screen.
I sighed and turned it off.
My mouth felt bitter for some reason at the obvious fact that his lectures remained the same whether I was there or not.
The only person in this world who probably needed me was… maybe my younger brother.
I turned on my phone and scrolled through the messages from him.
He still hadn’t read the message I sent yesterday.
It had been weeks since we last spoke on the phone.
He said school had started recently, and he seemed even busier than during the break.
He was attending academies, doing club activities, and seemed to hang out with friends often after school.
I tried to recall if I had been that busy when I was in middle school, but perhaps because most of my memories involved coming home immediately after school to look after my younger brother instead of going to academies, it was difficult to relate.
At first, I was worried he was wandering around outside because he hated being in that house, but it had been quite a while since he’d called me in the middle of the night, sobbing, saying he wanted to live with me.
My brother talked about his new friends, his grades, and even mentioned getting a confession on some “Day,” but unlike before, he didn’t talk about family at all. I didn’t press him, either.
A world of my brother’s that I didn’t know was expanding.
I started to think that maybe he was doing better than I thought. It was something I wanted and hoped for more sincerely than anyone, but at the same time, it was something I hadn’t easily anticipated.
My only thought had been to get a job in the metropolitan area as soon as possible and bring him to live with me…. What if he didn’t want that anymore?
If so, what was I doing here all alone?
“Giyun.”
“Yes?”
I snapped out of it at the sudden words from Manager Kim, who sat next to me in the office. I had come to the research institute to work on my laptop. I immediately turned off my phone screen.
“Giyun, are you a good drinker?”
Since we saw each other often in the office, the way Manager Kim addressed me had become much more casual. I scratched my cheek awkwardly.
“Alcohol…. I’m not really sure. I haven’t drank many times.”
“Then how many bottles are you going to drink today?”
“Today…?”
“The company dinner today.”
When I still wore a face that said I had no idea what was going on, Manager Kim asked Sangbin.
“Sangbin, didn’t you tell Giyun about the dinner?”
Sangbin, who was sitting opposite us, scratched his head.
“Oh, I thought you told him, Manager. You’re close with Giyun.”
“What are you talking about? You were the one who received the notice back then.”
Manager Kim frowned at Sangbin and then turned back to me.
“Anyway. You heard, right? If you’re not busy, come and have dinner before you go.”
I thought back to the company dinner we had last month.
They said they had one every month, and it was already the end of the month.
Compared to when the heatwaves were at their peak, it was much more bearable now, and it would already be autumn next week.
“It’s a dinner for the entire research team today, and Team 3 specifically said you must come. They said you helped them so much with the proofreading comparisons even though it wasn’t your job. The Director knows, too.”
I wasn’t an employee, after all.
I might have followed along blindly last time, but wouldn’t it be a bit much to go again…?
I was grateful for their kindness, but it felt burdensome.
As I shifted my eyes with a troubled expression, Manager Kim whispered to me as if sharing a top secret.
“We’re going to eat eel today. Tidal flat eel.”
I didn’t know what tidal flat eel was, but the way she said it made it clear it was expensive. Feeling even more burdened, I shook my head.
“If I go, it’ll cost that much more money.”
“So what? It’s not my money, it’s company money.”
“…”
“This is when you legally shake down the CEO.”
Ridiculously, the phrase “shaking down Seungjo” caught my interest.
That sounds okay…?
It was an attractive offer. When the look in my eyes changed significantly, Manager Kim encouraged me even more from the side.
“If you’re busy, just have one bite and go. To recharge your strength.”
“…Would that be okay?”
“Of course, of course.”
“Thank you, Manager.”
“Don’t mention it. Ah, it feels good to take credit using someone else’s money.”
I let the corners of my mouth lift, following Manager Kim, who was smiling with a proud face.
I knew that even if I ate gold-plated eel instead of tidal flat eel with Seungjo’s money, it wouldn’t cause any harm to his assets.
Yet, for some reason, I felt like I had landed a blow in my heart.
Having made up my mind, I went to the pantry.
An interior and supplies more magnificent than most cafes welcomed me.
Come to think of it, wasn’t all of this his money too?
I opened a box of cookies I usually didn’t touch, and took out a tea bag from a high-end tin case, putting it in a cup to brew.
I put in two instead of one, and a strong scent stung my nose.
I looked for milk instead of water in the refrigerator and poured it in.
It was in a glass bottle instead of a paper carton, and I wondered what made it different, but there was a long explanation on the side saying it was pure milk made from a ranch that had received eco-friendly organic certification.
After reading the explanation and tasting it, it somehow felt fresher.
I was extorting him. Thinking that made me feel a little better. It was a petty, even pathetic revenge that the party involved wouldn’t even know about or care about, but it didn’t matter.
Before leaving the pantry, I took out a Binch biscuit and put it in my pocket. I was going to take a Choco Pie, but I held back because it was too bulky.
After work ended, I went to the restaurant with the office staff. Thanks to the reservation, the utensils and side dishes were already set up in a private room.
A staff member who entered the room brought pre-grilled eels and grilled them personally on the grill. They were so large I wondered if they were pythons rather than eels.
Because they were so big and thick, it took time to cook them completely.
While the eel was cooking, I crunched on the fried bones that Manager Kim offered from the side. It was like eating a crispy, savory snack.
“Wow, look how thick that eel is.”
“This is insane. It’s my first time seeing one this big.”
The eel, cut into bite-sized pieces, was grilled to a golden brown.
Impressed, Manager Kim took out her phone and took pictures of the table full of side dishes and the eel. Then, looking at the screen, she frowned as if something wasn’t to her liking.
“It looks so unappetizing when I take the picture.”
“Just eat. It’s originally hard to take pretty pictures of food that looks like this.”
Sangbin babbled as he put eel into his mouth, but Manager Kim didn’t give up and moved the camera here and there.
Having observed Manager Kim’s disastrous overhead shot over her shoulder, I cautiously offered advice.
“Manager, how about taking it from this angle? In a direction where there are fewer shadows….”
“How? Like this?”
“Yes. And… unless it’s a full table shot, I don’t think the entire grill necessarily needs to be in it.”
Taking the phone in her stead at Manager Kim’s wish, I worked hard taking pictures here and there. A result much better than before was born.
“Look at this. It looks delicious.”
“Oh, you’re right. It’s better than the menu photos. We could sell this to the restaurant.”
Manager Kim bragged about the photos I took to the team members. Feeling shy, I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Giyun, you’re good at taking food photos. Have you visited many famous restaurants?”
“I just like taking pictures….”
In my life, today was only the second time I had visited a famous restaurant. Of course, the first time was the company dinner last month.
Unlike the last dinner, which focused on the pleasure of eating, a drinking session broke out from the beginning this time.
I sat in the far corner and mainly served drinks to those around me. I also diligently ate eel in between. The chewy yet oily texture was a masterpiece.
Not knowing my exact tolerance, I slowly accepted and drank the alcohol. I had only drank twice before at study group meetings.
The first time, I got drunk after drinking nearly half a bottle, and the second time, I barely drank at all. Since it was clear my tolerance wasn’t high, I felt I shouldn’t drink much.
The atmosphere reached its peak, around the time I lost track of how many bottles of soju were being reordered, Sangbin, who was opposite me, suddenly threw out a question in a loud voice.
“By the way, Giyun, why didn’t you go to university?”
The noise in the rowdy room decreased in an instant. Though no one had brought it up, everyone’s eyes fixed on me as if they were curious deep down. Sitting quietly in the corner, I couldn’t hide my flustered state.
“That’s… I thought it would be better to earn money quickly.”
“Why? Is your family struggling?”
“……”
“Don’t scholarships cover everything these days? You could work part-time while attending.”
I contemplated for a moment. Just how much of my situation should I reveal here to satisfy their curiosity while simultaneously protecting my pride?
“…My home… is struggling… and….”
Perhaps because of the alcohol even though I hadn’t drank much, I suddenly felt dizzy. It felt like my palms were about to get sweaty.
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