Updated 6/29/26 with correct chapter text
Whether it was a relief or not, there was no contact from Seungjo after that day. Giyun decided to think positively. Perhaps the man had realized that he was tight-lipped.
It was time to return to his daily routine, but the aftereffects were significant. Giyun suffered for several days after the encounter. The pain and body aches, which had been forgotten at the time due to excitement, appeared belatedly.
Even though he wanted to lie down and rest, he had to go to work. While working his part-time job at the convenience store, Giyun broke out in cold sweats, unable to sit or stand properly. He was just glad there was no one there to complain that he smelled.
Even though the weather wasn’t cold yet, he felt chills, and a dull pain digging into his stomach wouldn’t go away. He bought and took Tylenol from the store, but it didn’t have much effect.
As he remained on an empty stomach, his insides began to burn, so after some deliberation, Giyun bought instant porridge from the shelf. Despite having no appetite, he forced the disposable spoon to move until the container was empty. It was warm and savory, and it felt as if it finally warmed his stomach.
Perhaps because the sensation of that large piece of flesh pushing in as if to pierce his organs and filling his inner walls was so shocking and vivid, even after several days, he would occasionally shudder at the feeling that the man was still inside him.
At the time, he truly thought it was going to pop out of him, so that said it all. He was truly lucky he didn’t tear, but he never thought he would sometimes feel a sense of emptiness at the fact that he was now void below.
Most of the bruises on his buttocks had faded, but the condition of the skin deeper inside was different. It was tender flesh that had never been touched by anyone else.
If he thought of the stinging soreness below as the mark the man had left on him, he felt it would be okay if it never healed for the rest of his life; however, he worried that if the man saw him waddling every time he walked, he might find it unpleasant.
Not wanting to hear a comment about why he was making it so obvious, Giyun bought an ointment from the pharmacy and applied it. Every time he reached down to apply the ointment, his body twitched. It felt as if the man had made his body strange.
After arduous effort, he was able to go to the academy for the next lecture in a normal state.
“Did you lose some weight?”
Apparently, he wasn’t completely normal. As soon as they met in the teaching assistants’ office, Younghyun’s words made Giyun feel awkward, and he brushed his cheek with the back of his hand. He had felt that the pants he wore had become slightly loose, but if others could notice, he must have lost weight.
“You’re the type to lose weight when you study, huh? I’m jealous. Still, make sure you eat well. You have to take care of your health from a young age.”
“Yes. I will, Hyung.”
“Right, but by any chance, is something going on with Nam Changgon?”
An unexpected topic popped out of Younghyun’s mouth, and Giyun blinked with a bewildered face.
“No. I don’t contact him… why?”
“He asked me if your contact information had changed.”
“My number?”
Beyond being flustered, he felt a prickle of goosebumps. It was because he hadn’t expected Changgon to be looking for him until recently.
After the three-way confrontation with Seungjo in the classroom, Changgon’s pride must have been wounded, as he didn’t show up for the next lecture at all. Thanks to that, they didn’t see each other during class, though they had crossed paths once in the academy lobby.
Changgon had tried to talk to him as soon as he saw him, but Giyun had remained consistently dismissive. Perhaps because there were many eyes around, he couldn’t act as irrationally as before and seemed to be cautious. Taking advantage of the crowd, Giyun had escaped from him. Since then, they hadn’t met at all.
Since contact had been sparse lately, he thought it had ended there…
“He also asked if I knew your home address, so I told him I didn’t know such a thing. Even if I did, of course I wouldn’t have told him.”
“…”
“What is up with that guy? The more I see him, the weirder he gets. You’re not involved in anything strange, are you? Did you borrow money?”
“…There’s nothing between me and that person. He kept contacting me so I blocked him; I think that’s why.”
“What? He’s a total creep. If I see him again, I might just curse him out.”
Giyun felt the same. Though it would probably stop soon, it didn’t feel good that the man had gone as far as doing a background check behind his back. Giyun tried to shake off the unpleasant feeling and changed the subject.
“Are you still doing the study group together?”
“He was so insincere that I just cut him off.”
Younghyun waved his hand as if to say ‘what did you expect’. Just as he was passionately arguing that one shouldn’t recruit study members carelessly, the door to the TA office swung open. A strikingly tall man strode inside. He wasn’t a TA, but he was someone who didn’t need permission to enter this place.
“Mr. Eun Giyun.”
At Seungjo’s sudden appearance, Giyun’s eyes widened. It was the first time he had sought him out first, and the first time he had seen his face in the TA office.
Usually, even on lecture days or when they were in the same office, it was hard to even strike up a conversation. Realizing once again that whether he met Seungjo or not depended entirely on the man’s will made him feel strange.
“Hello, Teacher.”
Younghyun stood up and greeted him before Giyun did. Seeing Younghyun shouting a greeting with a bright face, Seungjo’s lips curled up slightly after a moment. He looked gentle at a glance, but the line of his mouth was slightly stiff.
“I have something to discuss with Mr. Eun Giyun. Could you excuse us for a moment?”
“Ah, yes!”
Without a shred of doubt at Seungjo’s instruction, Younghyun quickly packed his things.
“Then I’ll be going.”
“Good work.”
Younghyun bowed to Seungjo once more. ‘I’ll go first. Saying so, Younghyun lightly patted Giyun’s back and headed outside.
Giyun blankly followed Younghyun’s retreating figure as he closed the door, then flinched as he saw Seungjo immediately lock the closed door. As if the smile had never existed, the face he turned toward Giyun was cold.
“Don’t tell me you’re sleeping with Mr. Joo Younghyun as well.”
“What?”
At the serious tone of the question, Giyun asked back, dazed. He thought it was a tasteless joke, but the man did not have a joking face.
“What… how could you say such a thing…”
“…”
“Absolutely, never. No, I’m not.”
As much as he wanted to deny it over and over, Giyun kept his mouth shut, recalling the saying that a strong denial is a strong affirmation. Not knowing what Seungjo might use against him, he found himself becoming cautious of every move he made.
Seungjo stared intently at Giyun, who was shaking his head with a look that said such a thing was out of the question. Giyun didn’t know how to interpret that gaze, which pushed him into a corner as if he were being interrogated.
“…Well, I suppose Joo Younghyun isn’t that kind of person.”
“He’s a diligent assistant, so please, don’t corrupt him.”
His tone was plain, but it contained a distinct warning. Giyun was dumbfounded. Don’t corrupt him? Was he some kind of pollutant? Was he radioactive wastewater intended to annihilate the blue seas and humanity?
What stung even more was the remark that Younghyun wasn’t ‘that kind of person.’ He wanted to snap back and ask what kind of person he was, then. Did it mean Seungjo trusted Younghyun’s character more than Giyun’s words?
Seungjo’s blatant difference in how he treated Younghyun versus himself made Giyun feel even more miserable. He had guessed as much from what he’d heard before, but it seemed Younghyun truly was a favored assistant. Younghyun was a diligent assistant, and compared to him, Giyun was…
“What’s with your face?”
Suddenly, his chin was gripped. Seungjo frowned as he turned Giyun’s head from side to side, inspecting his complexion.
Did he mean Giyun had lost weight, or was he asking why he looked like this? Giyun made an excuse, hoping it was the former. He didn’t want to say he’d been sick. Of course, even if he did, Seungjo wouldn’t care.
“I went on a… diet. I’ve been gaining weight lately….”
“You didn’t have any meat on you except for your ass. Are you serious?”
At the sudden mention of his buttocks, Giyun jumped in surprise as if he’d been slapped there. Contrary to his will, his lower half reflexively tensed up.
“What exactly is your aesthetic taste, Eun Giyun?”
Seungjo clicked his tongue, muttering that he’d known something was wrong since Giyun was seeing that pathetic piece of shit. How could the topic jump around like this? Regardless of Giyun’s flustered state, Seungjo casually moved on to his business.
“Why didn’t you pick up the phone that day?”
“…Which call are you referring to?”
“Stop playing dumb when you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Seungjo fired back without mercy at the answer that had come out blunt, reflecting Giyun’s mood. There was no end to Giyun’s sorrow. Not wanting to show how discouraged he felt, Giyun calmly pulled Seungjo’s hand away from his chin.
“I… usually don’t answer calls from unknown numbers.”
“How much have you been selling your personal information that you don’t answer unknown calls?”
Despite the sarcastic tone, Giyun kept his head down and didn’t answer. Seungjo soon made a face as if he understood.
“Well, I suppose your ex-boyfriends must be calling you incessantly… so you do need to be careful.”
He was referring to the message from Changgon that had arrived while they were in his car. This was, in other words, an extension of his mockery.
“You’ve made your own bed. If you hadn’t lived like that in the first place, it wouldn’t be a worry you’d need to have.”
Giyun desperately wanted to correct the facts, but he wondered what the point was in saying anything more to someone who had already decided to be cynical. Cutting to the chase, Giyun got to the point.
“Why did you call?”
“Because you weren’t there.”
“I left a note saying I was leaving early….”
“I don’t recall ever saying it was okay to leave just by leaving a note.”
Seungjo’s voice dropped even lower. He was clearly angry. What was he so angry about? Cowering, Giyun shrugged his shoulders.
“I specifically told you not to leave.”
“…I’m sorry. I was so tired that day… I just wanted to go home and rest.”
“How surprising. After you were the one saying all those perverted things.”
“…”
“Are you the type whose stamina can’t keep up with your ambition?”
Giyun hid his face, which kept threatening to turn red, in both hands and sighed. He didn’t want to talk about this with him in a public place.
Seungjo might be fine, but Giyun was having a hard time maintaining his composure because the events of that day kept coming back to him. Giyun decided to wrap up the meaningless conversation.
“You don’t have to worry so much. I don’t plan on telling anyone anyway….”
“Telling them what?”
“That’s….”
“That you and I had sex?”
Giyun’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. Even though there were only the two of them in the TA office, Giyun looked around in a panic, fearing someone might have heard. After checking if there were any CCTVs inside, if the window was open, and even if there were any drones outside the window, Giyun began meticulously lowering the blinds when Seungjo grabbed his arm.
“Did you think I contacted you because I was worried about something like that?”
“…Was it not?”
Giyun’s voice came out dazed. This time, it was Seungjo who was speechless.
He had simply intended to drop him off after he’d washed up. It was obvious he was struggling, and Seungjo had reached out because he couldn’t understand why he would stubbornly head out on his own in that state.
It was true that when he couldn’t get through, he had become increasingly anxious and kept calling like a madman.
“Then… why did you keep calling…?”
What on earth did this kid take him for?
“…Just save the number. Don’t give me that ‘I didn’t answer because I didn’t know the number’ crap again.”
Unable to speak the honest truth, Seungjo chose to change the subject instead. A hint of disappointment flickered in Giyun’s eyes before vanishing.
He had ended up with the number unexpectedly, but he wasn’t as overwhelmed with joy as he thought he’d be.
First, there was the high probability that this was a secondary number, since someone like Seungjo wouldn’t expose his primary number to someone like him. Second, even if he saved it as his number, he wasn’t in a position to contact him freely.
“…Will there be another reason to contact you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, it’s not like we’re in a relationship where we’d exchange personal messages….”
Seeing Giyun trail off without confidence, Seungjo gave a twisted smile.
“Now that I’ve fucked you, did it not taste as good as you expected?”
How was he even supposed to respond to a remark like that? Hearing the explicit and vulgar expressions that Seungjo wouldn’t normally use, Giyun felt the illusion of being back in that office in the middle of the night.
“You shouldn’t just spit it out like that.”
“That’s not what I meant….”
“You were the one who said you didn’t want to pretend it never happened.”
“…”
“I’ve changed my mind. Me too.”
He didn’t immediately understand the conclusion Seungjo had clearly reached. Giyun’s pupils slowly dilated. It was because he hadn’t imagined that a man who detested gossip and scandal would actually continue this relationship.
“Wh… Why?”
“Why? Because you were good at it.”
A faint sneer touched Seungjo’s voice.
“It’s a bit different doing it with a man…”
“…”
“It’d be a waste to stop after just one time.”
Giyun couldn’t close his gaping mouth. His face was blank, not having fully regained his sense of reality. Every single statement felt shameful the more he chewed on it, but he wasn’t offended or disappointed.
If Seungjo had replied that he had become quite interested in him, that would have seemed even more nonsensical.
“So, what you mean is….”
Giyun tried his best not to stutter as he reflected on the intent behind those words.
“Instead of pretending it never happened…. In the future… continuously….”
“You don’t want to?”
Before he could even answer, Giyun shook his head. Suddenly, his shame was pushed to the back of his mind.
“No. I don’t hate it… I, I like it.”
Saying he hated it was a luxury. Even when he visited Seungjo’s office in the middle of the night, he had been prepared to be fired. Perhaps the current situation was the best of all the options laid out before him.
Since this was a connection that would eventually fade away anyway, he wanted to continue even just a physical relationship as much as possible and leave it as a memory that would last a long time within him.
So, he would not let this opportunity slip by.
“But I don’t like sharing.”
Seungjo strode toward Giyun. He pulled Giyun, who was trying to take half a step back, into a firm embrace with one hand. Startled, Giyun let out an audible gasp. The hand wrapped around his waist immediately slid down.
“From now on, I’d like you to manage your hole properly.”
“Ah…!”
Thick, long fingers touched him through the thin fabric of his cotton pants. Seungjo gripped his butt firmly and then stroked between the cheeks with force. That physical pressure brought their lower bodies into seamless contact. He had only just healed; he wondered if his skin would bruise again.
“I’m telling you not to let just anyone inside here.”
“Ugh, wa-wait….”
When he pulled his body forward to avoid the finger digging into his butt crack, the thigh Seungjo had thrust between his legs pressed against the front of his pants. In a position that couldn’t be more awkward, Giyun froze, unable to move either way.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes, yes….”
Giyun answered, barely able to breathe. Other than repeatedly nodding his head, he had neither the time nor the presence of mind to show any other reaction. Even though he didn’t have an erection, there was such a heavy presence felt between his legs that, like Pavlov’s dog, his opening twitched and tightened.
It was a reaction he had inevitably learned since that night.
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