T/N: Will update this in manageable chunks. Sorry for the wait!
He ended everything with Changgon that very day.
While their relationship was hardly significant enough to warrant a term like ‘ending things,’ Giyun blocked his number, reflecting on how he had failed to firmly push the man away whenever he made advances.
From now on, he intended to ignore him completely, even if he approached him to talk.
However, being hated by Seungjo was something he couldn’t help.
“From the next lecture onwards… you’re telling me not to come?”
Giyun stood dazed after hearing the bolt-from-the-blue announcement from the manager. The manager simply shrugged.
“Not all of them, just the lecture in Building 1, Room 203. You’ve been replaced by another TA due to scheduling issues.”
That was the main lecture. Why the sudden replacement?
“Instead, please take over the OMR scanning and grading. It’s a simple task, so it won’t take long.”
Giyun asked cautiously.
“Did I perhaps… make a mistake?”
“Huh? Oh, no, nothing like that. These things happen sometimes when we’re adjusting schedules.”
The manager waved it off and then added an afterthought, as if he’d forgotten an important detail.
“Your pay won’t change, so don’t worry about that. Less work for the same money—isn’t that great?”
Even at the mention of the pay remaining the same, Giyun’s expression did not brighten. Rather than feeling good about it, he simply couldn’t understand.
“The lectures are wrapping up anyway, and next week is the end of the semester, so don’t let it bother you.”
“……”
“Keep up the good work, Giyun.”
Unlike the manager, who walked away with a beaming smile, Giyun became grave.
Because he had a guilty conscience, he couldn’t take the manager’s words at face value.
Surely, this wasn’t a scheduling issue, but because of what happened that day.
If not, there was no reason for things to change so suddenly when he hadn’t even requested a schedule adjustment….
To replace a TA when the semester was ending next week… In other words, it meant Seungjo couldn’t stand the sight of him that much.
Did it even make sense for an on-site TA to be barred from the lecture? Was he being ousted from his job, starting with being pulled from the lecture and then gradually having his work reduced?
As expected, revealing that he liked men had been a mistake. So was saying that age didn’t matter.
It wasn’t as if saying those things would make the man see him in a different light. No, he did see him differently now. In a bad way.
It was a lecture Changgon also attended. It was a relief that he wouldn’t have to run into Changgon if he stayed out of the classroom, but regardless of that, the thought that he had fallen out of Seungjo’s favor made it impossible to focus on anything.
After much agonizing, Giyun went to find Seungjo. He waited outside the lecture hall for the studio filming to end, and as soon as Seungjo walked out, he bowed.
“Teacher, hello.”
“Where did you learn the habit of barging in unannounced without a word?”
“I’m sorry. It was difficult to see you…”
It wasn’t a situation where he could have made an appointment. Giyun didn’t have his number, and Seungjo never sought him out first.
If he had something to say, his only choice was to show up blindly according to Seungjo’s schedule.
“Is there a reason I must see you when it’s not working hours?”
Even though Seungjo was looking straight at Giyun, he didn’t slow his pace. Giyun had to move his feet busily just to keep up with him.
“I heard that I’ve been pulled from the basic lecture.”
“What about it?”
“Why is that? If I’ve made a mistake…”
“Didn’t the manager explain everything?”
“I only heard that I was being replaced by another TA due to scheduling…”
Giyun blurted out his business as if being chased, following behind the busy Seungjo. It was always like this with him.
A conversation that felt like being hunted, crushed under pressure. He couldn’t find his composure. Just following the flow was overwhelming.
“Why don’t you just take it at face value? It is a scheduling issue.”
“But….”
“What are you dissatisfied with?”
He finally stopped walking at the end of the empty corridor. The expression he wore as he turned back to Giyun was frigid.
“Why?”
“…”
“Are you disappointed because you can’t have secret trysts with your boyfriend in the classroom?”
Giyun’s eyes grew as wide as they could possibly be. He was so flustered he was rendered speechless. Watching the rapid change in his expression, a faint crease appeared between Seungjo’s brows.
“What… what kind of thing is that to say…”
Secret trysts with a boyfriend—every single word was horrifying.
He couldn’t possibly really think that, could he?
This was coming just as Giyun was thinking it was a relief he wouldn’t have to face Changgon. The problem, however, was that it didn’t seem like mere sarcasm.
“It’s not like that. That never happened, never…”
“It had better not be. I detest being the subject of rumors in any way.”
Giyun swallowed hard at the chilling response.
“The reason I asked… I had no other intentions. It’s just that there aren’t many lecture hours left…. I simply wanted to properly finish the work I was doing….”
“Well. There’s no particular reason it has to be Eun Giyun.”
Giyun blinked rapidly, unable to process the words immediately.
“Being an on-site TA is a job anyone can do, anyway.”
The low, resonant voice pierced through his chest like a driven nail.
Giyun couldn’t say a word.
The statement that anyone could replace him felt strangely sorrowful. It was true, and he knew it, but he wanted to ask if he really had to say it like that.
“…Then, the handover…”
“He’s a TA who has worked longer than Eun Giyun, so there’s no need for that. Just do your own assigned work properly.”
The rejection, which was more than just composed but bordered on indifferent, returned again and again. Seungjo appeared infinitely calm, while Giyun’s mind was more cluttered than ever.
Struggling to pull together his heart as it plummeted to the floor, Giyun offered an insincere apology. Perhaps it was out of spite.
“…I’m sorry I didn’t live up to your expectations.”
“Expectations? You say the strangest things.”
Seungjo let out a short, cynical laugh. Unlike his voice, his indifferent gaze swept down over Giyun.
“I never expected anything from you in the first place, Eun Giyun.”
It felt like being struck in the head by that calm voice.
He felt like he had been dealt a heavy blow in return for nothing.
Giyun grit his teeth.
He tried his best not to let himself be diminished, but a surge of overwhelming emotion kept rising up.
Giyun hung his head low. Unable to control his expression, which was threatening to crumble, he fled the spot.
He felt a gaze following him.
He thought Seungjo might call out to stop him for leaving without a goodbye. That he might scold him harshly like before, asking where he had learned such manners.
But nothing happened. He didn’t say a word, nor did he stop him.
The gaze, or whatever it was… It had all been a figment of his imagination.
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