It was the year I had just turned twenty, stepping into young adulthood.
That was to say… roughly twenty years ago.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer for the first time.
Yes.
Back then, I felt the exact same way I felt right now.
Suddenly, all noise faded far into the distance, and only the doctor’s words—telling me that I now had to brace myself—pierced relentlessly into my ears.
They buzzed so persistently in my head….
Wondering if it was a dream, if I had misheard, I slapped my ears until they turned bright red.
However, as if to prove it wasn’t a dream, the hospital bills snowballed.
And Mother deteriorated noticeably fast.
I certainly knew. I knew she was living on painkillers.
I knew she tossed and turned, unable to sleep because of the pain, before finally drifting off.
And yet, I pretended not to notice. I thought it was no big deal. I just thought that as people get older, it was natural for their bodies to ache here and there.
And I thought I would just get a job soon and let her live in luxury.
Then, everything would be fine.
Just like that.
I had been so terribly naive.
However, the cancer continued to spread, and with consecutive surgeries, my mother grew sick in both body and mind.
Just when she seemed to improve, the recurring cancer cells brought me crashing down along with her.
Why had I taken it so lightly?
Why did I just let it slide?
Why couldn’t I have asked?
I regretted it.
And right now, I was regretting once again.
“I can’t hear very well in one ear right now.”
All the surrounding noise faded into the distance, and Hyunseung’s voice struck sharply into my ears.
Ah.
Once again, I had taken it lightly, failed to ask, and let it slide.
When Hyunseung reacted sensitively, and when he failed to sense someone approaching even with only one earphone plugged in.
I had clearly thought it was strange.
However, I desperately tried to deny it.
“I’ve come to need a hearing aid to hear like everyone else.”
Kim Woohyun forced his trembling legs forward, taking small steps toward the pavilion where Hyunseung and Lee Duseok were sitting.
Rustle, rustle.
The grass, which had grown tall before he knew it, made a quiet sound with every step, but Hyunseung didn’t notice.
Lee Duseok, too, seemed quite shocked by Hyunseung’s words, unable to pay attention to his surroundings.
“W-Wait a moment! I’m just so startled, so could you give me a second?”
Soon, Lee Duseok raised his teacup with trembling, wrinkled hands and gulped it down.
Even as he set it down, his hands shook so terribly.
Clink, clatter.
The teacup clashed against the saucer, letting out an unpleasant grinding noise. However, it was understandable.
If Kim Woohyun had heard that news right in front of him, he was certain that, far from putting the cup down, he would have dropped it and soaked the floor completely.
“I’m sorry for reacting like this to your answer.”
Unlike Kim Woohyun, Lee Duseok was seasoned. Even while wiping his wet mouth with a handkerchief, he was mindful of Hyunseung.
“Not at all. It’s the first time I’ve mentioned it. It’s only natural you’d be surprised.”
Hyunseung wore a calm expression as always, as if it were someone else’s business.
No.
Unlike recently, he looked even more at ease. As if he felt much lighter, a fluttering smile hung around his lips.
Even so.
Kim Woohyun’s worry didn’t vanish.
No matter what.
Right now, Hyunseung was in a state where he couldn’t hear in one ear without a hearing aid, and that problem remained unresolved.
“Then, was the reason you disappeared without a word for the past year also because of an issue with your ears?”
“Technically speaking, yes.”
“Good grief, man! If something like that happened, you should have told me right away. You should have reported it immediately. I could have definitely helped! How could you harbor such a problem all by yourself, suffering alone…?”
Hyunseung let out a faint chuckle seeing Lee Duseok uncharacteristically raise his voice out of nowhere.
“I don’t know why the people around me worry so much.”
He then took a sip of his tea and added.
“I suppose it means I’m living this life properly.”
“Of course it does!”
Lee Duseok answered instantly to those words.
“It’s embarrassing to say, but I chased you all the way to this far-off foreign country out of admiration for your passion.”
He continued to elaborate, spraying spittle over the Go board.
“It means you’re living such a magnificent life that it compelled none other than Lee Duseok to make this journey.”
Hyunseung thought it was quite nice to hear, and nodded his head as a sign that he was listening.
With that, Lee Duseok regained his composure to some extent.
“By the way, since when was this?”
He asked carefully.
“It was after I went off the grid.”
Of course, the returned answer made him jolt his upper body once again.
“After? Didn’t you go off the grid because you lost your hearing?”
“I went off the grid because I learned that I might lose my hearing.”
“What on earth does that mean? Please explain it so I can understand.”
“Earlier, you clearly said you’d only ask one question….”
“Since you decided to throw in an extra today anyway, couldn’t you count this as an extra too?”
Hyunseung let out a dry laugh at Lee Duseok’s shameless question, and then.
“My father lost the auditory cells in both of his ears completely in an accident when he was very young. Neither hearing aids nor cochlear implants were of any use.”
He opened his mouth in a very calm voice.
“His auditory cells had died long ago and gradually degenerated, and there was no way to restore them.”
Tangled within that level tone were all the emotions Hyunseung must have endured over the years.
“Then, I heard news that research was being conducted on generating auditory cells, and I’ve been sponsoring that research institute for the past several years. However, naturally creating auditory stem cells wasn’t an easy task.”
Lee Duseok listened silently to Hyunseung’s words.
“They needed a sample for the stem cells, and I decided to become that sample.”
“Th-Then…”
“Yes, we succeeded in generating new auditory cells based on mine, and as a result, my father’s auditory cells are gradually coming back to life.”
Hyunseung nodded very slowly, and after a brief pause, Lee Duseok spoke.
“Your father must have taken on the heaviest burden of his life upon his heart.”
He shook his head from side to side as if feeling utterly heavy-hearted.
“I know. I know that no parent would ever want to hear sound at the expense of their child’s hearing.”
Hyunseung added as if agreeing with his reaction.
“In a way, it might be unfilial.”
However, he soon shifted his gaze toward the sky beyond the pavilion and added in a tone brimming with firm resolve.
“Still. My father is someone who lived in a silent world, looking only at my sheet music. He’s someone who cried while clutching speakers because he couldn’t hear a single song his son made. Even if it were unfilial, I had no reason not to do it.”
“Then, will you have to wear a hearing aid for the rest of your life…?”
“It seems you didn’t quite hear what I said earlier.”
At Hyunseung’s words, Lee Duseok narrowed his eyes behind his glasses, his gaze gleaming as if asking what he meant.
“Didn’t I tell you we succeeded in generating new auditory cells? I underwent surgery as well, and I’m gradually recovering. Of course, because I haven’t fully recovered yet, it’s hard to understand human speech without a hearing aid, but it will gradually get better.”
At Hyunseung’s elaboration, Lee Duseok.
And Kim Woohyun, who was watching from afar, let out a deep sigh of relief.
“My father has started to hear a little too, but he still can’t hear quiet sounds. Since he hasn’t heard for a long time, he can’t speak well either. His pronunciation is slurred, just like a newborn. But after doing pronunciation and auditory rehabilitation exercises together for a year, he’s improved enough to communicate to some extent.”
What a relief.
Truly.
What an immense relief.
Just as Kim Woohyun breathed a sigh of relief with that thought.
“I pretended otherwise, but I was anxious. I worried about what would happen if it never came back. I also thought about what I’d do if everyone forgot about me.”
Hyunseung’s voice followed, sounding somewhat tearful.
Of course.
He wasn’t actually crying.
“That’s why I returned, and because I wanted to be recognized just the same with my unchanging skills even if I couldn’t hear in one ear, I didn’t tell anyone.”
It was just that one could feel all the tangled emotions Hyunseung had endured all alone within those words.
“I suppose that’s why I was impatient. Worrying that, by any chance, the issue with my ear might even affect the quality of my music.”
Facing Hyunseung, Lee Duseok asked back with as composed an expression as possible.
“So, how was it when you worked on it this time?”
“It was the same as ever.”
“Good grief, you really don’t have an ounce of modesty, do you?”
And then, he smiled along with Hyunseung, who was smiling brightly once again.
“Above all, won’t the day come when I can make music with both ears again without a hearing aid? Especially with everyone worrying about me like this.”
“Of course. It will come soon. Don’t worry about a thing now. What a relief, truly, what an immense relief…”
Lee Duseok clutched one of Hyunseung’s hands tightly, muttering repeatedly.
Hyunseung looked down at Lee Duseok’s hands and added.
“So, please pass the message along to Director Kim Woohyun for me.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you come here after hearing about it from Director Kim Woohyun?”
“Well, the punk kept worrying about you endlessly, but…”
“Last time, I failed to sense someone approaching, so he probably noticed and is worrying himself sick.”
At those words, Kim Woohyun raised his large hand and covered his mouth.
So he knew, too.
He must have been bothered by it.
He must have fretted alone.
“So, please make sure to tell him.”
Hyunseung’s voice soon pierced into Kim Woohyun’s heart.
“To stop worrying about his son and take good care of his wife instead.”
And then, it broke him down.
Thud.
Kim Woohyun collapsed to his knees right where he stood, shedding silent tears.
“Yes, I will definitely pass it along.”
Lee Duseok glanced at Kim Woohyun from the corner of his eye and answered with a warm smile.
“Along with your feelings of care for him.”
“That’s strange.”
Hyunseung looked back and forth between the two people who entered his studio, practically overlapping shoulders as if trying to burst through the door.
“I’m pretty sure I only called Rice Grain.”
At Hyunseung’s words, Jamal puffed out his shoulders and spoke.
“You heard Hyung-nim, right? Today is my turn, so go back.”
At that, Sarah glared daggers at Jamal for a brief moment before speaking.
“Min Hyunseung, we need to talk.”
As if she had no business with Jamal, she whipped her head toward Hyunseung, treating Jamal like an invisible man, and added.
“It’ll only take a moment.”
However, Jamal also wore a fierce expression as if he couldn’t yield today of all days, issuing a warning.
“While I’m asking nicely, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t disrupt Hyung-nim and my time together.”
“Jamal.”
“Yes, Hyung-nim.”
“I told you people would misunderstand if you talk like that.”
“Yes, I apologize.”
Of course, at a single word from Hyunseung, he instantly turned into a gentle lamb and bowed his head.
“Is it urgent? We’re scheduled to work together in two days anyway, so how about talking then?”
“It will really only take a second, so can’t you just ask that fierce-looking guy to step out for a moment?”
Sarah pointed her chin toward Jamal, showing her discomfort. Jamal immediately bared his teeth, saying, “What? Fierce?” and took a step forward, but…
“Jamal.”
“Yes.”
“Step outside.”
“Understood.”
At Hyunseung’s single command, he bowed his head low and backed out of the studio. At this rate, wasn’t he basically Hyunseung’s pet black panther?
Soon.
Silence descended upon the studio where only the two of them remained.
It didn’t take long for the quiet to break.
“You clearly said in your comeback interview that you were going to live freely.”
“Out of nowhere?”
“Then why are you pushing yourself so hard? Did something happen?”
“No.”
“If not, why are you working yourself to the bone like someone being chased?”
He had assumed she came to complain about why Vincent or Jamal came before her, but apparently not.
Her disheveled hair, her rumpled clothes…
Her chest heaving in shallow, rapid breaths…
It seemed.
She had sprinted here. Out of worry for him.
“Didn’t you say before that you wanted to sing my song? That’s why I made it for you.”
“My desire to sing your song remains the same. But now, I hate seeing you push yourself too hard.”
Just as he thought.
“Just like you said, I shouldn’t push myself, so should we cancel your session this time?”
“Why, you… really!”
As Hyunseung let out a smirk watching Sarah huff and puff, he briefly paused.
“Just wait until I finish Jamal’s session today.”
Looking straight at Sarah, he added.
“Let’s go to my place together. It’s nothing much, just wanted to give you some misutgaru to take.”
Of course, with just that single sentence, Sarah’s face flushed bright red, looking as though she had just run a marathon.
“Go to your place together and mi-misutgaru?”
Was this the legendary misutgaru flirting she had only heard about?
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