“Contact’s been pretty sparse since we went to the movies….”
But when Seoan thought about it, he was actually the one who had been out of touch.
He had simply been far too busy. His older sisters had kept one major project after another going at the company, keeping their grandfather’s attention focused in that direction, while Seoan applied for a full-time faculty position in the meantime.
If he ended up as a non-tenure-track professor, it would amount to nothing more than a one- or two-year contract.
And if, even after that contract ended, he insisted that he intended to remain in academia, there was no telling what his grandfather might do to block his path.
He could have the hiring requirements changed, or make sure Seoan remained stuck as a non-tenure-track adjunct lecturer.
Considering Yeonggyeong’s influence from providing research funding to numerous departments in the College of Engineering, neither would be difficult.
Seoan remembered a senior who had once shared the same lab with him, someone whose face he could no longer even remember.
That senior had endured Professor Gi Mujin’s cold treatment and even taken responsibility for looking after Cheonghyeon, but in the end, he had left this place.
There must have been a complicated mixture of reasons, but he had probably grown tired of the uncertainty, of continually putting money in while having no guarantee that he could preserve even a single position for himself.
He had always gone up to the rooftop and looked out at the research building, but for the first time, he turned his back on it and told Seoan that he was leaving.
As far as publications and accomplishments went, Seoan had more than enough. He had published several papers with a professor he had known during his undergraduate years abroad, and he had given lectures before distinguished scholars on quite a few occasions as well.
On top of that, an elderly professor who had been researching the same subject as Seoan had recently retired upon reaching retirement age. If he missed this opportunity, he did not know how many more years he would have to wait, so Seoan poured as much effort as possible into this appointment.
‘Have you ever regretted choosing that path?’
‘Many times. So many times.’
‘Then why do you keep doing it?’
He suddenly remembered the conversation he had once had with Cheonghyeon in the emergency stairwell.
If he did not become a tenured professor now, his grandfather would do everything in his power to obstruct his path until Seoan finally reached the point of thinking, ‘Maybe I should just take over the family business instead’.
If that happened, everything his sisters and he had done until now would come to nothing.
Seoan could not help remembering that senior who had left the lab so forlornly.
Seoan had believed that, if no one else, that senior would surely become a tenured professor.
But circumstances could break a person’s will. Having witnessed it with his own eyes made that truth cut all the deeper.
Still, while he was working so hard to secure his own position, seeing Cheonghyeon looking as though he had grown closer to the members than he was to Seoan irritated him in an entirely different way.
He had thought it over time and again, but circumstances could change a person’s heart.
Seoan felt the need to treat Cheonghyeon even better. He had to remind him who had stayed by his side back when Cheonghyeon had neither the presence nor the popularity he had now.
Seoan thought over his schedule leading up to the review and began rearranging his plans.
Once the Happiness Concert was over, Seoan firmly resolved that he would accompany Cheonghyeon to every single one of his schedules.
The day before the Happiness Concert, Cheonghyeon felt so happy he could have flown through the sky.
When he woke up that morning, there was a message waiting for him from Seoan.
Seoan said he had watched the live broadcast, encouraged him to do his best at the concert, and told him that once his busy schedule was over, they should go somewhere and have fun together.
That message had Cheonghyeon happy from the moment his morning began.
The lunchtime rehearsal went off without a problem as well. Perhaps all their practice really had not been in vain, because the sight of his movements clicking perfectly into place with the other members’ was cathartic enough to give him a rush.
He could already vividly imagine how happy the fans would be.
The PD who had wanted to make a trot audition program took up a position at JBS as soon as Cheonghyeon gave his approval and immediately began recruiting contestants.
The number of applicants the PD briefly showed him made Cheonghyeon’s jaw drop.
It made his earlier doubtful expression over whether a trot audition program would really succeed seem ridiculous.
On the very first day of recruitment alone, the number of applicants had already approached four thousand.
The recruitment period was fifteen days. It was obvious the PD would suffer tremendously getting through the first and second rounds of auditions reviewed by the production staff.
Still, with so many applicants, there was reason to expect plenty of public attention as well.
Lee Changjin, the great senior of the music industry, had sent Cheonghyeon Hanwoo beef as thanks for giving him such a good song.
Seeing Changjin tell him that practically every PD and network director worth mentioning was either his junior or his friend, so Cheonghyeon should tell him if anyone gave him trouble, made Cheonghyeon feel as though he had suddenly gained a dependable uncle.
Things could hardly have gone any better.
Cheonghyeon beamed.
He wished every day could be like today.
And then, on the long-awaited day of the concert, Cheonghyeon was struck anew by what it meant to occupy the position of an idol.
Hadn’t he been told that the word idol meant an object of worship?
When he had first heard that, he had wondered if it was an exaggeration. But seeing the countless fans filling this enormous concert venue to capacity made him understand what the word meant.
Thousands of people had gathered, shouting the fan chants for their favorite singers in time with the videos playing across the giant screens.
Soon, when it was East’s turn, the roar of the crowd thundered loudly enough to reach all the way into the waiting room.
Apparently, fan sections were arranged so that supporters of the same group could sit together whenever possible.
At a glance, every fan section in the very center of the second floor belonged to East’s fandom.
An enormous crowd sang along to East’s songs together.
When Cheonghyeon heard the booming music, he felt as though his heart itself were thumping in time with it.
He felt a little closer to the fans he had always encountered only through the internet.
Back when he had been getting hate after the reality show, there had been times when fans had seemed like nothing more than individual posts and comments written under a collection of vaguely similar usernames.
But they were all real people.
And when he realized that all of those real people had gathered here like this to cheer for him, his chest swelled with emotion.
Cheonghyeon stared blankly at the glittering fan section.
The sparkling light sticks waved back and forth, creating a current like ocean waves.
He desperately held back the urge to let himself be swept away by those waves.
Cheonghyeon continued staring endlessly until someone called to him from behind.
The area beside the waiting room had been decorated almost like an arcade. And there were countless singers there besides East.
Perhaps the backstage footage was being broadcast as well, because dozens of cameras were filming the inside of the waiting area.
Cheonghyeon dragged Sikyung around with him as he looked at everything, eventually settling in front of a claw machine.
But as time passed, Cheonghyeon’s expression grew increasingly stiff.
Whirrr. Click.
“Ah….”
He pressed his forehead against the claw machine, which was nearly as tall as he was, and gripped the joystick tightly.
There were too many people watching for him to show his irritation, so all he could do was grit his teeth.
He had already spent thirty coins on this damned claw machine.
Several other idols nearby had gathered around in little groups, apparently fascinated, and were watching him.
Forcing a smile, Cheonghyeon made himself loosen the hand wrapped tightly around the joystick.
“Would you like to try?”
“Ah, no. Um… would you like some of my coins? I think you’re close. Try just one more time.”
Cheonghyeon had tried to hand his spot over to a male idol beside him, only for the man to hold out coins to him instead.
Cheonghyeon wanted to vanish on the spot.
At first, he had thought, ‘That looks like it should be easy to get…’
Then he used up all ten coins he had been given.
Thinking it would be a waste to stop there, Sikyung handed Cheonghyeon his own ten coins.
After Cheonghyeon spectacularly failed with those as well, Yeonhui happened to pass by and said, ‘That’s not how you do it,’ before pulling out a rabbit doll with only two coins.
Yeonhui snickered, handed Cheonghyeon her remaining eight coins, and left.
But after all eight of those attempts ended in failure too, Cheonghyeon was just getting ready to stand up and pretend he was completely fine when Sikyung came up behind him and shouted, ‘You still haven’t gotten it?!’
Then Sikyung stole two coins from Hando and brought them over to Cheonghyeon.
And Cheonghyeon had just blown those too.
He could not bring himself to lift his head.
At this point, forget the doll. He was so damn embarrassed he just wanted to run away.
“East! Time for makeup!”
At the sound of that voice, Cheonghyeon shot to his feet and headed straight for the dressing room.
He even gave the kindhearted idol who had offered him more coins a polite bow before immediately leaving.
At this point, merely seeing the first syllable of the word doll was enough to make his temper flare.
And as Cheonghyeon hurried out of the waiting area, the camera persistently filmed his retreating back.
Every bit of this was being broadcast live.
The cameras moved from place to place, showing the fan sections, the waiting rooms, and the arcade area.
And when the idols in the waiting room started gathering around to watch Cheonghyeon repeatedly fail, the cameras naturally began focusing on him too.
To idol fans, the Happiness Concert was an enormous event, practically their version of the Olympics.
Completely unaware that his name was already going up and down community boards and SNS, Cheonghyeon trudged miserably toward the dressing room behind the stage.
| [I kept watching with a little smile, but I finally fucking lost it at the part where he failed every single time and started gritting his teethㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ] ↳ The face he makes like he really does NOT want any more when Kangjun asks, “Want some coins?” is fucking killing meㅠㅠㅠㅠㅋㅋㅋㅋ ↳ Passing Pobie here… Thank you, Kangjun-ssi of Bludust… You probably wanted to see our kid succeed too… ↳ Passing Blay here… Our Kangjun is severely lacking in social awareness… Shoving coins at someone who very obviously wants to escape… I apologize to Cheonghyeon-ssi on his behalf… |
| [ Kangjun-ssi is like a noraebang owner who keeps adding free bonus time when you’re already exhausted. Problem is, you’re not even singing anymore, you’re screaming for them to let you go home,] ↳ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋIt’s a noraebang but he’s the only one scoring 30 points, ↳ And they keep giving him bonus time until he scores 100, ↳ Is it seriously real that every kid around Cheonghyeon wants to give him their coins so they’re all standing there holding one in their hands ↳ I’d want to run away tooㅠㅠㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋf***ㅠㅠㅠ |
Once he entered the dressing room and quietly sat there having his makeup done, Cheonghyeon finally felt himself calming down again.
The truth was, all the dolls inside the claw machine were ugly anyway.
On top of that, he was not particularly fond of dolls in the first place.
Maybe the previous Gi Cheonghyeon or Isaac would have been different, but the current Cheonghyeon did not like having things messily scattered around his bed besides his pillow and blanket.
Even so, there had been one and only one reason he had taken a seat in front of the claw machine.
The small fox doll tucked into one corner of the machine had reminded him of someone.
‘Seoan hyung….’
The doll really did look exactly like Seoan.
Unlike the usual orange fox dolls, this one had a white belly and golden fur close to brown, almost exactly like the color of Seoan’s hair.
And nestled in the arms of the fox, which had its tail curled around its own body, was a single yellow flower that looked like a sunflower.
There was no way Cheonghyeon could look at that doll without thinking of Seoan.
‘And I failed every single time.’
Just thinking about it again made his teeth grind with a crunch.
At first, he had simply thought that since it looked like Seoan, it would be nice to have one, and that was why he tried to win it.
But the longer he went on, the more twisted his motivation became.
If I win that, Seoan hyung and I will end up together.
He had started repeating that completely baseless thought to himself until he became deadly serious about winning it.
And as he failed again and again without getting the doll, he suddenly even felt a surge of emotion at the thought that maybe this was some kind of omen, predicting a future in which Seoan abandoned him and ended up with the woman from that phone call instead.
When Yeonhui cut in and easily won the rabbit doll, Cheonghyeon nearly asked her to win the fox for him too, but he firmly swallowed the words.
What if Yeonhui wins that doll, and then Yeonhui and Seoan end up together?
By that point, Cheonghyeon had already lost his mind to a superstition he had invented entirely on his own.
He had been obsessing over the claw machine while entertaining such ridiculous thoughts, but as more and more spectators gathered, he finally became aware of what he was doing and was suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment.
Fortunately, someone called him in for makeup at exactly the right time.
The very thought of what kind of disgraceful scene he might have made if he had stayed there any longer was horrifying.
‘I can just buy the doll with my own money. What’s the problem?’
Even so, he could not stop thinking about the doll he had left behind inside the claw machine, and it made him strangely upset.
To calm himself down, Cheonghyeon began inventing a brand-new superstition.
‘The claw-machine guy must’ve already touched it, right? Then would that mean that guy and hyung are going to end up together? Of course not. That could never happen. So that doll was already doomed from the beginning. Even if I won it, it wouldn’t mean anything. I can just go buy a brand-new doll as soon as the concert is over. The one still sealed inside the plastic wrapping is the real one. Actually, winning that one might even have been bad for me.’
After disciplining his mind with the new superstition he had created for himself, Cheonghyeon felt much better.
Just then, he heard that his makeup was finished.
Cheonghyeon thanked her with his eyes curving prettily into a smile.
Enough to make the face of Hyeonju-ssi, the makeup artist, turn bright red.
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