In an instant, Cheonghyeon snapped his eyes open wide and blinked hard a few times.
The now familiar ceiling of the dorm and the light, early dawn air greeted him.
When he carefully pushed himself up to sit, the still chilly temperature made him draw in on himself.
Cheonghyeon recalled the warm midday atmosphere from the dream. He remembered that moment that had been warm, not cold like now.
It was the first time he could remember a dream in such detail.
No, calling it “detail” was almost embarrassing, because only fragmentary pieces remained, but the sight of the palace staff wanting to comfort Isaac, the sight of him laughing excitedly with the Empress Dowager, and… the sight of Isaac speaking warmly with Jeremy, those alone did not fade and were stamped into his mind.
It felt like he had stayed there for several days, yet here it was still a dim, dark dawn.
When he turned on his phone and confirmed that only about three hours had passed since he fell asleep, all strength drained out of his body.
With the feeling that a hole had been punched clean through one corner of his chest, Cheonghyeon sat blankly on the bed for a long time.
Jeremy, his eldest hyung, was he the kind of person who could speak so gently?
He had always thought that once Isaac returned to his original body, he might meet his end by Jeremy’s hand.
Yet seeing that fragmentary image of Isaac looking happy in the dream, he felt a kind of betrayal and gloom he could not put into words.
Unable to fall back asleep, Cheonghyeon buried his face in his knees for a long, long time.
Until the members came to wake him.
“Cheonghyeon, what’s wrong?”
Even in front of the table where Hando had carefully set out breakfast, Cheonghyeon sat there in a daze.
He thought he really was greedy, too.
If Isaac saw the current Cheonghyeon, he would grieve even more than Cheonghyeon had at dawn.
Countless fans and members who cared for him, personal activities that came surging in like a tide.
All of it was what Isaac had wanted so desperately.
What he could not obtain no matter how hard he struggled.
In the end, because he could not obtain it, he had faded away like that.
When his thoughts reached that point, Cheonghyeon lowered his head, weighed down by guilt toward Isaac.
Had he not pitied him, who had lived and died a life worse than an empty can reflecting light?
Had he not been the one who, more earnestly than anyone, prayed that he would live well once he went to the empire?
What kind of horrible jealousy was this? And yet… emotional exchange between brothers was something that, even when he had been a prince, he could not obtain no matter how hard he struggled.
Even now, it was the same. With his mood sinking endlessly, he only idly stirred at a few grains of rice.
“I’m done…”
Seeing the rice bowl that was still so untouched it looked brand new, the members looked at him with worried eyes, but Cheonghyeon, thoroughly deflated, slipped right back into his room.
Knock, knock, knock.
Changsik knocked carefully and peeked his head in.
Cheonghyeon had rolled his blanket into a round cocoon and was hiding inside it.
Seeing that, Changsik let out a small sigh and quietly stepped into the room.
“Cheonghyeon, is something going on? Is it because today’s shoot feels like too much?”
Even at Changsik’s worried question, the round cocoon did not so much as twitch.
Changsik, letting out another small sigh, gently peeled the blanket back, and when he saw Cheonghyeon’s exposed face, he shouted without realizing it.
“Cheonghyeon! Why is our Cheonghyeon crying!”
“Hyung… hngh, huheong….”
A little later, Cheonghyeon, calmer now, sniffled and straightened the body he had been tightly wrapped in the blanket, leaning back against the headboard.
All the members stared at Cheonghyeon with anxious eyes, wanting to hear why he had cried, but he could not bring himself to open his mouth.
What was he supposed to say?
That he had lived twenty-five years as a prince of an Empire, and one day he learned that his soul had been switched?
That after twenty-five years, he had returned to his own body?
That he was upset because Isaac, the one he saw in his dream, was living too well?
That it shocked him to see his eldest hyung, whom he had been too scared to even speak to, treating Isaac like a younger brother, with a kindness he had never seen before?
As thoughts chained into more thoughts, Cheonghyeon burst into tears again, wailing.
Changsik held him and soothed him, but it was not enough to calm Cheonghyeon, who cried so hard he even got hiccups.
Since becoming an adult, it was the first time he had ever cried out this loudly.
How could he feel jealousy instead of being happy for Isaac, who had only suffered in this world, now that he had finally returned to his own body and was living well?
The sight of himself like that was horrible. Endless self loathing and sorrow wrapped around Cheonghyeon.
Right now, Cheonghyeon was unbearably lonely, and in pain.
Watching Cheonghyeon shed tears without saying a word, Changsik suddenly seemed to realize something.
He stopped his noisy consoling and only gently patted Cheonghyeon’s back.
When Changsik quietly motioned with his hand as he continued patting, the members exchanged brief glances, then left the room.
The swollen red eyelids atop his neatly arranged eyelashes looked pitiful.
Remembering the shoot that was about to happen, Changsik stroked Cheonghyeon’s back a few times, then left the room to go get an ice pack.
Click.
The members waiting in the living room rushed over to Changsik the moment they heard him come out.
“Hyung, what is it? Do you have any idea what it might be?”
“I think… it looks like Cheonghyeon’s memories are starting to come back, little by little.”
“What?”
“If you look at how he can’t say the reason and just keeps shaking his head while crying… I think maybe his memories coming back are confusing him.”
At Changsik’s guess, all the members fell silent.
If that was it, Cheonghyeon’s depressed state was easy to understand.
They did not know why, but the current Cheonghyeon had a definite presence, unlike before.
In that situation, with the members and the fans acting differently, it made sense that he would feel confused and be in pain.
“For now, this is just my guess. Don’t worry too much, and you guys focus on getting ready to film. I’ll calm Cheonghyeon down and get him prepared.”
The members quietly nodded.
Since they were clearly at fault, they had nothing to say even if they had ten mouths. All they could do was hope that Cheonghyeon, with his memories returning, would not be too hurt.
After Changsik left, Cheonghyeon, still sniffing inside the room, took out his phone.
Ihwa noona is probably working right now…
He was not the type of person who could cling to someone as freely as Isaac.
He searched through his phone, but only a pitiful contacts list and message windows greeted him.
The tears that had been stopping began to leak out again in small drops. He missed Henry, who had always been with him.
After hesitating for a moment, Cheonghyeon sent Ihwa a message.
Right before sending, he wavered for a very brief moment, but in the end he pressed the send button anyway.
He wanted to pour out this situation and these feelings to Ihwa, at least, the person who knew his circumstances best.
You said you were my guardian. You said you’d protect me.
That was how Cheonghyeon rationalized it.
It had only been a little over a month since he and Ihwa had come to know each other.
In truth, it was no different from being total strangers, but right now, Ihwa was the only person Cheonghyeon could talk to.
Still, the anxiety would not go away.
If she heard about this situation, would Ihwa also see him as the person who stole Gi Cheonghyeon’s place, and Gi Cheonghyeon’s precious people?
Confusion tightened around Cheonghyeon’s chest.
A little later, Changsik came into the room holding an ice pack.
And when Changsik came back out of the room, Cheonghyeon was right behind him, holding the ice pack to his eyelids.
The moment Cheonghyeon saw the members with worried faces, he headed straight into their arms.
The members had thought that Cheonghyeon, with his memories returning, would go back to being distant with them again, but when he suddenly threw himself into them, they were flustered and yet relieved.
Everyone held Cheonghyeon tightly, so that his gloomy mood could fly far, far away.
“Do you feel a bit better now?”
Changsik, who had been holding the ice pack in place behind Cheonghyeon as Cheonghyeon gave a small nod, let out a deep sigh.
“Since today’s an outdoor shoot, if it gets hard, make sure you tell us. It’ll probably be a survival game and they’ll really put you through it, but if it’s too much for you, Cheonghyeon, I’ll talk to the PD.”
Right after episode one aired, the fans’ likes and dislikes showed up clearly.
Fans felt very uncomfortable about a situation where, even by coincidence, a meeting between East and fans ended up happening, like last broadcast.
They wanted to see the members spending warm time together among themselves, not watch someone get lucky and have a free fan meeting while they themselves were at school or work.
That dissatisfaction was even stronger for fans who lived outside the area.
After the broadcast, the production team quickly gathered opinions and changed direction.
The part that got the best reaction in the actual broadcast was the part where the members played random games and the part where they cooked together.
The hearts of the fans were the will of heaven. The production team immediately searched through the night to find items that would fit the fans’ tastes perfectly.
After monitoring the fans’ reactions, the PD found that the response was best when the PD took the villain role and the members opposed him as one team.
Since the original planning intent was to unite the fandom as one, Global Semicol pivoted this broadcast entirely from an observational variety show to a real variety show.
They changed it so that viewers would naturally empathize with East’s members and take their side. The item that came out of that was a survival game.
“I’ll keep watching over you, so if it gets hard, tell me anytime. Got it?”
Cheonghyeon, having settled a little, blinked his eyelids, now a faint pink, a few times to signal yes.
Changsik and all the members looked at Cheonghyeon with the feeling of watching a child they had set out by the water’s edge.
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