T/N: Happy New Year! Hope you had lots of good food with family or friends! If you’re by yourself, remember, you’re really not alone <3 Love y’all!
Hyunseung went to the river. Beside him stood his father too, about one cheek shorter than him.
There was no conversation between them.
Only the cold autumn wind buzzed and whined as it filled the space between Hyunseung and his father.
─ I’m here.
Then his father’s wrinkled hand delivered a greeting.
─ Today I came with our son.
The hand that had been stirring the empty air soon draped over Hyunseung’s shoulder.
Then, as if proud, it gave him a light squeeze and rub.
─ It’s gotten pretty cold. Stay warm over there.
That was the end of the greeting to his mother.
Instead, his father gazed at the quietly rippling river, a bitter smile on his lips.
Father must be sad too, because Mom is gone.
Maybe because they spent such a long time together, it was even sadder and harder for him.
But with little blood bundles to raise, he probably never even had the time to grieve as much as he wanted.
─ Son, come sit here too.
And to keep from giving guilt to a son who thought it was his fault, he must have endured it stoically.
They had never said it outright to each other, but if it was his father, that was what he would have done.
Thump.
Hyunseung laid a spot and sat down beside his father.
At the same time, with the wind, the river slapped against the embankment, splashing.
“…”
Hyunseung did not say anything.
This place was where my mother and father were laid to rest.
It was also the last place he visited in his previous life. Which meant, it was where Hyunseung died in that life.
A place like this should have been painful to face, but now, he was okay. He even thought it was good that he came.
Really. Now everything was okay.
No, it would be okay.
Then his father lightly patted one shoulder and spoke.
─ Son, there’s something I wanted to tell you.
Hyunseung did not answer, only met his gaze and waited for what came next.
Looking at his father’s serious face, with no hint of a smile.
─ When you were very little, you used to lose sleep a lot. Do you remember?
─ I did.
─ In your sleep, it sounded like you kept saying “Mom,” but there was nothing Dad could do for you. The only one who can fill Mom’s empty place is Mom.
Hyunseung nodded with an “Ah.” That was right. On the days he had nightmares about Mom, his father somehow always knew and quietly patted his back.
Still… Because of that, there were quite a few days when he did not toss and turn much and fell back asleep.
─ But a while ago, you asked how much your mom loved you, didn’t you? I felt the same thing then. No matter how much I explain, I can’t fully deliver that kind of feeling.
It seemed his father had been thinking about what Hyunseung asked not long ago, about “Mom,” for his work.
Well, a son who rarely even mentioned it suddenly knocked and came in to ask seriously, so he must have been pretty startled.
─ But there is one thing I can tell you for sure….
His father paused his hands, which had been moving without rest.
─ Your mom would never think her death was your fault. If anything, right up to the moment she died, she was worried about you.
He continued, holding Hyunseung’s gaze. On his father’s face, a warm, gentle smile returned.
─ Of all things, you took after me and were shy. You couldn’t adapt well to kindergarten. You wouldn’t eat well unless it was Mom’s cooking. Even as she was dying, all she did was worry about you.
Looking at that face, filled with apology and worry at once, his nose stung for no reason.
─ Your guilt about Mom, leave it in this river now and move on.
Without a word, Hyunseung turned his head and looked at the river. With the splashing waves, it felt like his guilt was being washed away.
Pat, pat.
Only after finishing all the signing did his father pull him into his arms.
Then, like he used to, he lightly patted Hyunseung’s back.
He must still think I’m a kid.
But he did not hate it, so he decided to forget the embarrassment for a moment and burrowed into his father’s embrace.
Yeah.
Now I really should let go the past and my previous life for good.
Hyunseung went to the Korean restaurant he always went to. He booked the reservation about thirty minutes earlier than the promised time.
“It’s been a while!”
He looked at the staff member greeting him with a bright face, and then gave a rough nod.
‘So that’s her.’
The woman who hurt Mom Kim’s heart.
“About when will the rest of your party arrive today?”
“They’ll be here in about thirty minutes.”
“Then I’ll serve the course in time with their arrival.”
With that, the staff member carefully closed the door and left.
The cup on the neatly set tableware was filled with water…
‘Am I okay?’
Hyunseung was about to drink, but when he saw himself reflected there, he suddenly started fixing his hair.
What started with his hair moved to his clothing, then down to his shoelaces.
Knock, knock, knock!
Then, an unexpected knock sounded.
“Your party has arrived.”
At the staff member’s voice from outside, Hyunseung, flustered, straightened his posture.
“Come in.”
After all, there were still more than twenty minutes left until the appointment time. Why did she come in such a hurry?
‘I’m not ready yet.’
But the door, which felt like it would never open, swung wide, and she came in.
Yes.
The flower of mine that bloomed brightly in my previous life.
“Hello!”
She greeted him with the same spirited face as ever.
“I didn’t think you’d already be here! You came really early?”
“Yes. You came a bit early too.”
“I’m impatient!”
“You look like it.”
“Honestly, I was excited, so I just couldn’t wait until the appointment time.”
Hyunseung looked at her with a deliberately calm face and asked back,
“What are you excited about?”
“HS’s face!”
He tried not to be flustered, but he could not hold this in.
“Pardon?”
Seeing how startled he was, she smiled lightly and added,
“I saw the fan meeting fancam and thought you were really handsome, but at the airport, you had such strong presence I could recognize you right away. But seeing you like this, you’re seriously impossibly handsome.”
That damn fancam, seriously.
“You seem really good at saying things like that right in front of someone.”
“I’m pretty honest!”
Hyunseung stared at her clear face, then let out a small laugh because nothing had changed.
Always arriving first, liking handsome faces, chattering honestly.
“Um, Composer.”
Not knowing what his laughter meant, she tilted her head, then called out to him.
“But today, why did you ask to meet only me?”
When Hyunseung pressed his lips shut, she quickly corrected herself, as if afraid it would sound like she was uncomfortable meeting alone.
“I mean, I’m happy, but you know meeting the directors would probably be a more helpful meeting for you than meeting me, so I don’t really understand why you insisted on meeting only me.”
Hyunseung looked at her quietly.
What should he say?
He considered it for a moment, but in truth, what he could say now had already been decided before he came here.
“I just want to wrap things up.”
“Huh? Wrap up what?”
“I’m going to block your number now.”
That alone should be enough for her to understand.
“Uh…”
She was clearly shaken and could not continue her answer easily.
“Is it because I bothered you too much? I’m really sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
Then she suddenly sprang up and kept bowing again and again, like she was about to slam her head into the table.
Ah, he did not expect a reaction like this….
“That’s not it.”
Hyunseung immediately held her shoulders to stop her and continued,
“It’s fine, so please sit.”
“No. I think I only thought about our side and bothered you. I’ll explain it well to the directors, and we won’t bother you anymore.”
“If you do that, I’d appreciate it.”
As soon as she sat back down, as if she had calmed a little, she met his round eyes and asked,
“Then… why are you cutting me off like this, even buying me dinner so carefully?”
“Pardon?”
“I mean, you could just block me, but I don’t understand why you’re going this far.”
This was a question he did not anticipate. It was the kind of question you might hear from a woman you met on a blind date.
“That’s….”
Just as Hyunseung tried to speak while forcing down his flustered expression.
Knock, knock!
Right then, from beyond the door came a knock and the staff member’s voice.
“I’ll start with the smoked salmon salad with our special sauce.”
The staff member set down the beautifully plated appetizer and a small plate for serving, then left.
With how quickly they set everything up, Hyunseung did not even have time to think.
“Since we’ve come this far, let’s eat first.”
He decided to put off the answer for now, portioned the salad into a plate so it was easy to eat, and set it in front of her.
She still looked unsatisfied, her curiosity not resolved, but as she took the plate, she did not forget to say her thanks.
And then she clumsily poked and picked at the salad with her fork and ate. She looked so much like a rabbit that he smiled silently.
A pale face, reddish cheeks, and even the small, delicate hand holding the fork, things he thought were forgotten in the far back of memory, filled his sight.
Memories are terrifying.
As the course dishes followed one after another like links of sausage, she tore into the food with an excited face, as if she had never been serious a moment ago.
Really, she ate so deliciously you could not find even a trace of pretense, and she wiped her mouth with a napkin without even noticing her lipstick had come off.
He did not know she ate that well.
Yeah. In his previous life, he had never even bought her a single meal, so of course he could not have known.
‘So I’m only buying you one now.’
Hyunseung looked at her satisfied face and silently lifted the corner of his mouth.
It felt like a lump that had been stuck in his chest for a long time was finally going down.
Right. Back then, he had nothing, so he never bought her a proper meal, not even a cup of coffee.
Now that he looked back, that was what bothered him the most, what sat wrong in his mind.
“Now I’ll answer why I’m blocking you, yet still buying you dinner so carefully.”
At last, Hyunseung set down his napkin and spoke softly.
“I just wanted to buy you at least one last meal.”
She looked like she could not understand what his words meant, but this was a final courtesy to the connection that brushed past in his previous life, so she would not know even if she died and came back.
With this, truly, everything was okay now.
After returning to the studio, Hyunseung immediately searched the current time in America.
Fortunately, it was daytime, well within active hours.
First, Hyunseung called the number saved as [Mom Kim ].
Brrr rrr rrr!
After the ringback tone went on for a while.
“Oh, Geumdong-ah.”
A rough, but warm voice came through.
“Would you like to have a meal together tomorrow?”
At his question, Kim Woohyun immediately answered, “Sure! I’ll clear my schedule for lunch.”
The call ended shortly after that.
‘Now…’
Hyunseung searched through his contacts again.
And then his finger stopped on one contact.
“Hm…”
Hyunseung hesitated for a moment, then called without thinking.
Brrr rrr rrr!
On the screen, the saved name appeared in large letters.
[ Not Van Gogh, Vincent ]
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