Pen and Paper Translations

I cannot see well in front of me.

Maybe we got too immersed, because Nam Yeonsu and I literally bawled our eyes out, sobbing our hearts out with everything we had.

Thanks to that, our eyes turned red and got swollen and puffy.

With puffy fish eyes, we were lying side by side on folding cots, getting massages.

“Heeek. Can you two see in front of you? This is going to sting.”

“It’s okay…”

I answered in a weak voice and let all the strength drain from my body.

When Cha Ilnam heard my ad lib, he said it was good and that we should go that way, and after that, we did a few more takes.

Filming came at us in a rush, so I did not even have time to think about how Nam Yeonsu’s acting was or anything like that.

Because of that, I think I cried my eyes out about five times.

After getting Cha Ilnam’s satisfied OK sign, the two of us decided to get eye massages for now.

Since the next shoot was right away in the afternoon, we had already all moved together to the outdoor location.

Two staff members had prepared tightly frozen plastic bottles, chilled eye masks, and things like that, so we put towels over our eyes and were cooling them down.

“Still, you two really cried well.”

“How do you both just have tears streaming the moment the cue comes? I saw it myself, but it was still so fascinating.”

“They say child actors on other sets are always looking for eye drops, but you two did not need anything like that.”

“Mm, but Wooju and Haeseong were so sad.”

“Anyway, you two really… seriously. Amazing, amazing.”

Maybe they were moved by our acting, because the staff kept praising us and swapping out our towels as they got damp.

“I am fine now.”

“Yeah? Yeonsu, then go wash your face once in the bathroom.”

“Yes.”

Nam Yeonsu said it was enough and stood up first.

It probably has not gone down yet.

It must have felt nice and cool, but keeping his eyes covered the whole time seemed to make him feel stifled.

“Siwoo, is it not too cold?”

“No. It is just right.”

“Haha, look at this. Siwoo’s posture is perfect, is it not?”

“Yeah, he looks like an old man lying down at a sauna.”

An old man.

I do not know what a sauna is, but I swallowed the surge that rose up at that.

They are saying it because it is cute. Because it is cute.

This posture is just right too, so I should stay like this a little longer.

Still, Nam Yeonsu unexpectedly took my acting well.

With the chilled eye mask placed coolly over my eyes, I sank into thought.

I thought he was the type to just mechanically digest the script, but he took my lines like someone who had been prepared.

Even after the first ad lib passed with Cha Ilnam, I did not stop, and kept testing Nam Yeonsu by changing the lines and actions little by little, this way and that.

Even with my continued variations, Nam Yeonsu never panicked even once, and responded well to everything I did.

At first, when I saw him make a flustered expression, I thought Nam Yeonsu was flustered, but that did not seem to be it either.

Nam Yeonsu never let go of acting as Ji Haeseong until the end.

It was not like there were no NGs at all, but that was not so much a mistake at my ad libs as it was simply him stumbling over a line.

But no matter how I think about it, it is strange.

From how he usually acts, he absolutely did not seem like the type of actor with that much quick thinking.

How could he take my acting and hit it back like he had calculated it so precisely.

As I thought and thought, something suddenly clicked.

“I want to stop this now.”

“You do? Mm, it looks like the swelling is all down. Siwoo, you go wash your face once too.”

“Yes.”

I quickly answered and hopped down from the folding cot.

And I checked that Nam Yeonsu still had not come back from the bathroom.

Good, he is not back yet.

I shuffled around like I was digging through my things, and looked at Nam Yeonsu’s spot.

As expected, there, the script Nam Yeonsu holds no matter whether it rains or snows was lying there.

“Ahem.”

I pretended to pick up my own script and, as naturally as possible, snatched Nam Yeonsu’s script.

Wow, look at how soft and worn the paper is.

Even Kang Sujeong’s script, and she lives with it, was not this battered.

Just how many times has he flipped through it? Nam Yeonsu’s script, unlike mine, felt so limp it was like it had gone mushy.

Let us see.

I flipped through the script in a rush.

And what appeared was unbelievably dense notes.

But…

“What… is this?”

I was so shocked that I ended up muttering out loud.

All the writing filling Nam Yeonsu’s script was in an adult’s handwriting.

Gasp.

When I looked around, thankfully, no one was looking at me.

It was fortunate, because the set was busy with everyone preparing for the next shoot.

Flustered, I decided to hurry and take the script somewhere with fewer people.

I need to take a close look at what this is.

“Uncle!”

“Huh? Siwoo, what is it?”

“I need the car for a bit.”

“What are you bringing over? Just a moment.”

I rolled up Nam Yeonsu’s script in my hand and went to find my uncle.

My uncle, who helps the staff here and there on set, was easy to find.

Even now, he had been helping the staff carry something, but he took my hand and headed for our mother’s car.

“Was the sea wind cold? Should I get you a windbreaker?”

Because it was very rare for me to say I wanted to go to the car in the middle of filming, my uncle asked worriedly.

At that, I quickly shook my head no.

“I just want to look at a script quietly.”

“Huh? Did you not memorize it all?”

“Just… it is too loud over there.”

My uncle looked at me like it was strange that I was doing something I never do, but it was only for a moment.

“Okay. I was worried because we came outside and it is windy, so that works out.”

Saying it was a good idea, my uncle quickly opened the car door for me.

I climbed into the back seat and got ready to read Nam Yeonsu’s script.

“Then I will be over there, Uncle. If they say to standby, you can come get me, right?”

“Mm.”

Leaving me with a final “Stay here quietly,” my uncle hurried back to the busy set.

It seems a manager’s job is not only taking care of the actor.

You have to always keep an ear on the set and be ready to react immediately.

After officially becoming a manager, my uncle supports me very diligently.

He is friendly too, and he gets along well with the staff, so he brings me information I need, one piece at a time.

“Let us see.”

Thanks to my uncle’s help, I was finally alone.

On set, there were too many people, and there was the risk of being found out at any moment.

I opened Nam Yeonsu’s script with an easy mind.

“Wow… look at this?”

Looking closely, he had written, from start to finish, in detail, how Ji Haeseong should act in each scene.

With an adult’s handwriting, he wrote so much in tiny, meticulous letters.

There was almost no white space left in the script.

That is not all.

There were also countless Post-its covered in dense writing stuck all over.

“Huh…”

And what was even more shocking was that it was not simply notes about how he should play Ji Haeseong.

In the script, along with the direction Ji Haeseong should act, there were also dense “cases” written out about how the opposing actor might act.

From the most by the book approach, to when they respond with ad libs, every possibility he could think of.

And next to that, there were also methods written out, from one to ten, for how Nam Yeonsu should respond if an ad lib came.

It was such relentless, vicious notes that just looking at them made me tired.

Just in case, I flipped further.

And every single scene related to Ji Haeseong’s role, without missing a single one, was like that.

There were dozens of pages filled with an entire sheet of writing, inferring the other actor’s acting direction and listing response plans for it.

“Wait, then the scene today too…?”

I quickly searched for the scene we had just filmed while sobbing our eyes out.

My god.

The scene where Ji Haeseong leaves the house was also packed with notes.

When I read through it quickly, every single action Nam Yeonsu had shown just now was written there.

Tremble.

Why is it?

The hand holding the script trembled and shook.

Is it because it reminded me of the past, back when I was Noah Battenberg?

It was as if I could hear the voice of Hugo Battenberg, the Duke, as he is now.

“Carrying the Battenberg name, you must not do anything that will disgrace the family.”

“Other than what I command, do not think, and do not judge, anything on your own.”

A father who never once praised me, even when I endured a murderous class schedule.

Every time we met, he mechanically recited what I must not do and what I must do, and as a child, I was afraid to face him.

This script brought back, exactly, the voice of that Hugo Battenberg from back then.

There is no doubt.

Nam Yeonsu is bound up in his parents’ fanatical obsession, just like what I went through in the past.

In an instant, goosebumps rose along my arms.

“Aaaah!”

I could not bear to look at the script anymore, and I tore Nam Yeonsu’s script to shreds right then and there.

---

“Please standby!”

It was time for the afternoon filming to resume.

My uncle came to get me, and holding his hand, I arrived on set.

As expected, just as I had anticipated, Nam Yeonsu’s expression was not good.

Even while Cha Ilnam was explaining something, he fidgeted with his hands restlessly, then kept calling his manager over to whisper something.

But Nam Yeonsu’s manager did not say much.

It seems Nam Yeonsu could not even say that he had lost his script.

If he had said he lost it, the manager would have stepped in and asked people around, at least.

A child who cannot do anything alone.

People might think it is natural for a child to not be able to do anything alone, but whether there is their own will in it or not is a big difference.

On set, Nam Yeonsu was no different from someone who had lost his will.

Because he did not come here to do the acting he wanted to do.

“What is wrong, hyung? Is there some problem?”

“Huh? No, no. It is nothing.”

Acting like it was nothing, I walked up to Nam Yeonsu and asked what was going on.

As expected, Nam Yeonsu waved his hands wildly and said nothing was wrong.

I lowered my gaze and looked at Nam Yeonsu’s empty hands.

“Huh? You always have your script. Where did it go?”

“Uh, uh?! …I left it over there,”

“Really? Where?”

I sprang out and moved to the place he pointed, like I was going to look for it.

Then Nam Yeonsu, startled, grabbed my arm.

“N, no. …Actually, I think I lost my script.”

“Ah, really?”

Did I say it too casually?

After making a big confession, Nam Yeonsu stared at me with wide eyes, looking at me like, how can you be like that.

“Hyung, but did you not memorize all the lines? You were looking at it every day.”

“Uh, y yeah. I memorized the lines, but….”

“Then is it not fine?”

After saying that, I made a point of walking over to a trash can near the beach and threw away my own script that I was holding.

“W-What are you doing!”

Nam Yeonsu turned pale and grabbed my arm to stop me.

He even opened and closed his mouth, like he was telling me to hurry and pick it back up right now.

To Nam Yeonsu, the script is probably as precious as his life.

Because it is an acting manual, packed tight like a robot’s instruction booklet.

But I had already memorized the entire script perfectly, so it was not a big problem for me even without it.

“It is okay. I already memorized it all.”

“B-But still….”

“Not having a script does not mean you cannot act, so why are you like this? Mr. Heeseong says he deliberately does not look at the script on set.”

“I… I cannot do that.”

At the words that I was not the only one and that even the great actor Moon Heeseong did that, Nam Yeonsu paused.

And yet, he immediately protested in a small voice.

Of course he would.

Without that densely written script, he would feel anxious.

Because those countless notes are not something you can just easily memorize.

“Hyung, then let us do this.”

“Huh?”

I led Nam Yeonsu over to Cha Ilnam, who was deep in preparations, and said,

“Director, can we freely do ad libs like we did in the morning?”

“Huh?”

“S-Siwoo!”

At my words, Nam Yeonsu called my name with a face that had gone deathly pale.

In the car, before coming to the set,

I tore up Nam Yeonsu’s script without even realizing it, but for some reason, I did not feel like I had done something wrong.

And I thought that I want to bring the child named Nam Yeonsu out.

If he refuses to come out, trapped in his own shell, then at least let us put a crack in that shell.