“What did you do today?”
“Just… I did a bit of decorating in the studio and was picking some flowers.”
“Studio?”
“Yeah. My father gave me a room.”
Just saying the word “studio” made Riu happy, and the corners of his mouth lifted faintly. Seeing how pleased and shy he looked, Matthew pulled him straight into his arms.
“Don’t smile like that. It makes me jealous.”
“…I wasn’t smiling.”
“I want to be the only one who makes you smile. I want to wholly own every little thing in your life.”
Matthew, who had been whispering gently, buried his nose against Riu’s neck. Then, noticing the scarf, he slipped his fingers beneath it and tugged.
“It’s faded a lot.”
“Yeah, thankfully.”
“Thankfully?”
“Hm?”
At Matthew’s words, Riu looked up at him. It seemed he didn’t like that the marks were fading.
“Then I’ll have to put them back.”
At that, Riu hurried to wrap his neck. He sent a look that said don’t, and Matthew let out a dry laugh and asked,
“What are you doing right now?”
“Sorry. Covering it up every single day like this… it’s more inconvenient and exhausting than I thought…”
Riu glanced at him, reading his mood, and lowered his gaze. He didn’t strictly need to apologize, but the atmosphere made it feel like he had to.
“Riu.”
The same gentle voice as always flowed from his lips. Riu formed an awkward smile and answered softly, “Mm.”
“I didn’t mark you so you’d cover it up. I marked you to make it clear whose you are.”
“…Matthew.”
“So I’m saying there’s no need to hide it. The more you keep doing this, the more… anxious I get. Isn’t that right?”
The once uncomfortable air settled at once into a heavy mood. A pressure he couldn’t name pressed on him so strongly it felt hard to breathe, and Riu looked down at the hand holding the flowers.
“I’d like you to respect my wishes too.”
“What?”
“…It’s my body.”
When Riu stated his will clearly, Matthew’s face went rigid. But he soon smoothed his expression, then pulled the hand holding the flowers toward him.
“Is that so? If that’s what you want, then I should respect it.”
Seeing Matthew accept it so readily, Riu wore a clumsy smile. Then he whispered a small thank-you and held out the flowers.
“Would you like these?”
“I hadn’t finished speaking yet.”
Looking down at the proffered flowers, Matthew let out a short, dry laugh. With a look of amused interest at the corners of his eyes, he took the flowers Riu held out.
“But Riu.”
“…Yeah?”
“If covering it up is what’s uncomfortable, then… that means it’s fine if I leave the marks where they won’t be seen, right?”
As the conversation veered somewhere unexpected, Riu’s eyes went wide. He wanted to protest that that wasn’t what he meant, but Matthew crooked his red lips and cut him off.
“You should probably be prepared. Since I can’t mark your neck, I’ll leave even more of them elsewhere.”
As he said it, a small gleam passed through Matthew’s green eyes. The color was so deep it felt overpowering, and Riu reflexively drew back a step.
“I-I should get going. Nick will be waiting at home.”
“You came all the way out here and you’re going straight back? How about walking with me a bit first?”
“…”
“The weather’s so nice today, too.”
Matthew’s voice slid over him, sticky like a devil’s whisper. As if the flowers in his hand were Riu himself, he gripped the stems tight and held out his other hand.
“Well? Want to take a walk together?”
Like plum blossoms blooming on a warm spring day, Matthew’s radiant smile made Riu’s heart race. As if he’d already forgotten feeling sorry toward Rene, his heart pounded, and another wave of guilt washed over Riu.
“…No. I want to go home.”
“…”
“The outdoors is too bright… I don’t like it…”
Riu’s voice trailed almost to a whisper, and Matthew let out a laugh a beat late. It was obvious he could see Riu scrambling to find a way out of the situation.
But acting as if he didn’t know, Matthew approached and pressed a kiss to Riu’s forehead.
“All right, let’s do that. I happen to be curious about the studio you said you set up.”
Returning home with Matthew, Riu asked Nick to bring refreshments and headed to the studio. It wasn’t fully arranged yet, so there wasn’t much to see, but praise still slipped from Matthew’s lips.
“It’s pretty. Cozy and quiet.”
“It’s still unfinished…”
“Since you made it yesterday, I’m the first guest to visit, then?”
He seemed to like the word “first,” and his face brightened. Then, spotting the barley pot, he knit his brow slightly and murmured in a sulky voice,
“Next time I’ll have to bring a gift. Not these things that smell like grass.”
“…”
“I’d rather this pot not be here then. What do you think, Riu?”
Watching him smile and say it so gently, Riu felt a chill run through his heart. From the tone, it sounded like he’d smash the pot right away if things didn’t go his way, and Riu nodded before he could think.
Right on cue, Nick brought in the refreshments. Riu quickly set the table and called Matthew over to sit across from him.
“Chamomile tea?”
“Yeah. I drink it sometimes when I want to calm down.”
More than anything, it was because the first flower Matthew had ever given him was chamomile. Matthew, who couldn’t have known that, lifted his cup, took a sip, and lightly wet his lips.
“This room used to be my mother’s study. After she passed away, it wasn’t opened even once.”
In the quiet that followed, Riu spoke first. He’d never before initiated personal talk with anyone, but for some reason words came naturally with Matthew.
“It’s a meaningful place, then. What kind of person was your mother?”
“Mm. She was quite warm and gentle. Her tone was always mild, and she was kind to everyone.”
“You must take after your mother a lot.”
“What about your parents?”
Naturally turning the question to Matthew, Riu set down his teacup.
“My parents… There aren’t really any memories I want to share or affection to speak of. I was raised mostly by a nanny.”
At Matthew’s words, Riu let out a short “Ah…” He had only wanted to know a bit more about Matthew. In the unexpected turn, he offered an apology.
“…Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? It’s just that my parents were busy, that’s all. I don’t have particularly good memories, but no bad ones either.”
“Still, it’s a relief you have Kian. You two seemed close.”
At the mention of Kian, Matthew drew his brows together. He fell into thought for a moment, then let out a faint, deflated laugh.
“So you weren’t lonely, being alone?”
“Yeah. I was just used to being alone.”
Before or after the possession…
Swallowing words he couldn’t say, Riu met his eyes. Matthew’s gaze flickered slightly, as if something had crossed his mind.
“Then you’ll have to get used to it again. Because from now on, we’ll always be together.”
Hearing Matthew speak with such certainty gave Riu a tingling feeling he couldn’t name. At first, Matthew’s directness had felt burdensome, but at some point it had begun to hit him straight in the chest. Feeling how he was gradually getting used to Matthew unsettled Riu.
“So, Matthew… I think I want to end this relationship now.”
It was something he’d agonized over and forced himself to say, but Matthew reacted calmly, as if he had already foreseen it. As if nothing were amiss, he took a sip of tea and curled his lips.
“Riu.”
“…Yeah.”
“Didn’t I say it? I have no intention of ever letting you go again.”
His eyes had sunk into a darkness completely different from before. Frightened, Riu sat there mute and dazed, and Matthew whispered in a tone that was anything but ordinary,
“Did those words not reach you as sincere? That’s very upsetting.”
“I mean…”
“Or is it because of Rene? If that’s it, I’m truly disappointed. Considering we’ve already mixed bodies several times.”
Matthew casually dropped the indecent words and crossed his legs. At the same time, Riu felt the current of the air shift again.
“If Rene is one of the reasons you’re refusing, you should think carefully. No one would look kindly on someone who slept with their close friend.”
Riu couldn’t make any reply to Matthew’s words. He could only sit there, silently listening to what Matthew went on to say.
“As for me—I never let go once I’ve bitten down. All the more so if the target is something I want like mad.”
“…”
“So at this point, just accept it. No matter how hard you try, I will never be someone who can end up with Rene.”
As Matthew drove the point home, Riu felt a swell of confusion. With nothing he could counter, he kept his mouth shut and remained silent.
“The sun’s already set. I’ll be going for today.”
Riu bit his lip as he watched Matthew say he was leaving without even tying up the conversation. For some reason it felt wrong to let him go like this, so he rose and grabbed the hem of his coat.
“Hey, Matthew. I’ve never thought you weren’t sincere… not even right now.”
Matthew simply looked down at Riu as he calmly continued.
“Of course, from your point of view, what I’ve done might have felt bad. I truly am sorry about that. But, you know…”
“…”
“Rene is really precious to me. He’s like family… so could you give me just a little time? I want to resolve things properly with Rene, at least through a conversation.”
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