Kim Woohyun looked at the bundle of letters in his hand, a jumble of emotions crossing his mind. At the same time, the man’s face came back to him.
As if he worked long hours under the sun, his skin was dark and sallow, and his sunken cheeks told the story of his life.
On top of that, over his very thin body he wore a jumper that didn’t even fit his frame. It was worn and old, but it had once been a hugely popular brand.
He probably dressed up to meet his daughter.
“What am I supposed to do with this?”
Kim Woohyun was torn over whether it was right or not to give this bundle of letters to Lee Hyoeun.
At the moment, Hyoeun seemed to be rejecting her father, so, as Hyunseung said, it might just be meddling.
Besides, given how tangled Hyoeun’s feelings must be right now, he couldn’t decide if handing it over was the right call.
Even so, a letter should be delivered to the person it’s for.
More than anything, working in this business, Kim prided himself on being able to read people to some extent just by their eyes.
The father’s eyes seemed genuinely for Hyoeun.
To put it simply, he didn’t look like someone showing up now to play daddy.
“Even just from these letters….”
Very carefully, with both hands, Kim took up the bundle.
It felt as if… if he wrinkled the envelopes, he’d be wrinkling the father’s sincerity along with them.
Kim headed for the practice room where Hyoeun would be.
When he opened the door, he saw Hyoeun so absorbed in practice that she hadn’t even sensed someone there.
Knock, knock.
He deliberately rapped on the wall to announce himself.
“Oh, Division Head…”
Maybe because they’d already had a call, Hyoeun’s face looked more flustered than surprised.
“Hyoeun.”
Striding up to her, Kim held out the bundle of letters.
“Your father asked me to give you this.”
“He’s not my father.”
Hyoeun shot the bundle a sidelong glare and snapped her head away. For a kid who was usually bright and quick to please to be like this, it had to be hard for her to face.
“I know what you’re worried about, and I know why. But if you’re scared of something that hasn’t happened and resent it based on guesses, the only one who suffers is you.”
Kim bent to meet her eyes.
“Even if he really isn’t your father, it’s still a letter some father wrote for his daughter. You can accept it thinking of it as fan mail.”
Smiling slightly, he offered the “fan letter” again.
“Okay…”
In the end, unable to refuse, Hyoeun took the bundle.
“Good girl.”
Kim gently tapped her on the head and stepped away.
“I’ll get going.”
And with that he slipped unhurriedly out of the practice room.
What came next…
was a problem for father and daughter to work out themselves.
Left alone in the practice room was Lee Hyoeun.
“Haa….”
Sitting down on the floor, she buried her face between her knees, pulled tight to her chest. The tips of her fingers were precariously holding the bundle of letters.
Rustle, rustle.
The bundle fluttered in the air from the AC.
They were a few dozen envelopes, well organized though smudged with handling, bound with a yellow rubber band.
“Really….”
When she lifted her head she saw the cute envelopes, and her head dropped again of its own accord.
No wonder.
On the pink envelopes were little characters that only children would like.
In her dad’s memory, she was still five, the little girl who loved princess characters.
Unable to bring herself to read such letters from her father, Hyoeun kept her head buried for a long time.
Still, she had to read them.
Whatever was written inside, even if her father had sought her out with some ulterior motive, she had to face it.
Running away, avoiding it… that could not be the answer.
Right.
If there’s a problem to solve, you solve it yourself.
When she slipped off the yellow rubber band, the dozens of envelopes fell to the floor like rain.
From among them…
she picked up the one on top.
She pulled out the stationery; it was covered edge-to-edge with tiny handwriting.
To my proud daughter, Hyoeun.
Today a coworker wouldn’t stop bragging about his daughter. He was so full of it I could have died from how smug he was.
I wanted to brag too, but I just couldn’t. If I say my daughter’s a singer, they’ll definitely pester me.
Our girl must already be living days full of hassle and fatigue. At times like that, I at least should hug you and say you’ve worked so hard, but I’m sorry—so sorry—I can’t be by your side.
One page, then another, then another…
To my daughter, whom I have never once forgotten, Hyoeun.
Today I miss you especially. Maybe because work went badly and I’m so tired. On days like this, when my daughter hugged me tight, all the fatigue would melt away…
But I won’t collapse. I’ll keep holding on. So that whenever the day comes that you come looking for me, I can finally be a proper dad like I wasn’t before. I’ll never collapse, I’ll keep working hard.
But…
Today I really miss you too much. I’m sorry to whine like this— it’s not like a dad.
The letters contained her father’s days: what had happened that day, his feelings, and his heart toward her.
To my very beautiful daughter, Hyoeun.
These days I sometimes see your face on TV, and it makes me so happy. You’ve grown up so pretty, just like when you were little.
I didn’t do anything for you, yet you grew up bright and beautiful—thank you, and I’m truly ashamed.
Maybe because you’ve always brightened those around you, I think the job of entertainer suits you so well… and yet…
As your dad I worry you might be having too hard and exhausting a time. You don’t need to care what others say. No one knows better than I do that you’re not that kind of person.
My girl, I love you and I’m always sorry. I’m always cheering for you, so hang in there.
Before she finished reading, Hyoeun set the page down as if her strength had given out.
Her father’s letters… felt like love letters, and like letters of apology.
Ah…
What was he feeling as he wrote these?
What was he thinking while bundling these envelopes together?
And how much time did he spend before bringing them to be delivered?
As if possessed, Hyoeun leapt to her feet and rushed out of the practice room.
Of course.
Her father might already be gone. He might have dragged his tired body away alone in sadness.
Still, she had to go.
Maybe… just maybe, he would be the family who would stand unconditionally on her side.
Thud, thud.
Turning the corner toward the security office, Hyoeun bumped hard into a big man and tumbled comically.
“Ow…”
Rubbing the hip that had hit the floor, she looked up.
“Huh?”
It was Hyunseung, looking down at her.
“Doing slapstick now?”
Joking, he stuck out a hand.
She grabbed it and got back to her feet.
“I’m not a comedian. Why would I be doing slapstick?”
“Well, the way you fell was so funny, I thought you were getting ready to be a ‘gag singer.’”
Hyoeun’s face burned. Of all people, why did it have to be Hyunseung who saw her like this…
Then looking her up and down, he asked,
“Where are you going?”
“I, I’m….”
“Going to meet your father?”
Unable to answer, she hesitated, then gave a small nod.
“Hm.”
His face grew serious, as if he had something to say. He let out a low hum.
“No, it should be fine.”
She didn’t know what exactly was “fine,” but he gave her shoulder a light pat and told her to hurry along.
“Okay, I’m going first.”
She offered a quick farewell, hurried past him, and was hastening on when—
“Hey, Lee Hyoeun.”
Before long, his voice came from behind, calling to her.
When she turned her head, he was right there close behind, as if he’d followed her.
“At least brush this off before you go.”
He casually flicked the dust out of her hair, then added,
“You’re going to meet your father; you can’t go looking like a ragamuffin.”
Blushing, Hyoeun said, “Thanks,” then dashed off again toward her dad.
When she met him, she’d be sure to tell him there was a man by her side as kind as a dad.
Even if it was one-sided love…
She hurried to the security office, but of course her father had already gone.
“Haa, ha—”
Catching her breath, she stood there, looking into the office in regret.
“Ah, by the way….”
A security guard beside her added something he’d forgotten to say.
“Even after the director left, he sat there a long while before going. He hasn’t been gone that long.”
Why is the important part always an afterthought?
“Thank you!”
She shot out of the security office.
Drawing on her class-relay anchor skills, she sprinted straight to the lobby.
Craning her neck like a meerkat, she scanned the people passing through, but her father wasn’t among them.
Of course.
A lot of time had passed. Her memory of his face had grown faint, and she didn’t know how age had changed him.
Even so, she felt certain she’d recognize him.
With that certainty, she couldn’t stop moving.
Whirrr—
Treating the automatic revolving door like a manual one, she slipped through quickly and scanned the faces of the many people passing in front of the building.
Some of them recognized her and started whispering.
“Whoa, no way! Hey, isn’t that Lee Hyoeun?”
“I think it is?”
“Wearing a tracksuit like that, she looks totally like a regular person, right?”
Hyoeun didn’t hear a word of it.
All she could think about was finding her father.
She started walking again, toward the path with the heaviest foot traffic.
And then, she spotted a back that caught her eye. A thin man, shoulders hunched against the cold even inside a thick jumper, walking briskly.
Hyoeun quickened her pace to close the distance. The space between them now was barely five steps.
Just as she slowed to match his pace and walk behind him…
“…Oh.”
Narrowing her eyes, she examined the man’s jumper.
“That’s…”
If her memory was right, it was the jumper her father used to wear.
But that made even less sense. In her memory, that would be about 18 years ago….
“No way…”
Telling herself it wasn’t him, she shook her head hard, but for some reason her vision was blurring.
Then she stopped dead, and at the same moment the man ahead seemed to sense her and turned his head.
“Uh….”
He started as if he’d seen a ghost, but only for an instant.
“Why are you crying?”
In no time he came toward her with a worried face, reached out and stroked her cheek. Her face overlapped with his.
“D-dad…”
Forcing out the one word with a voice that sounded like it would snap.
“My girl… my girl.”
At those words he pulled her into a tight hug and patted her back.
“Daddy’s sorry, I’m sorry.”
Even in the letters it had been full of apologies and the first words her father spoke on seeing her were “I’m sorry.”
“Why…why did you leave me?”
Ah, that wasn’t what I wanted to say.
“Why, why did you do that, why!”
I wanted to say I missed you so much.
“Where were you? Why are you only coming now?”
I wanted to whine, to ask if he hadn’t missed me…
Maybe my mouth was crooked, because the words spilling out were sharp-edged, at odds with my heart.
Right.
Her reunion with her father was a mess, not what she’d imagined at all.
In the end, Hyoeun collapsed into her father’s arms and sobbed her heart out.
Pat, pat.
Then that warm touch she’d longed for so badly began patting her back in a steady rhythm.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
As if to say she could cry more, her father repeated, again and again, that it was okay, it was okay, for a long while.
And truly… just as he said, it felt like now everything would be all right.
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