Heewook gazed blankly at Kyungseo’s thick, fluttering eyelashes. They looked as if they could even hold up a hairpin laid across those long, full lashes. A shadow from the lashes fell over his deep, jet-black pupils. Even the little dot pricked beneath his eye. The word “pretty” did not feel the least bit out of place.
Just then, as Heewook swallowed dryly, Kyungseo narrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side.
“That’s no good either?”
Like waking from a dream, Heewook suddenly came to.
“What? Fan service?”
“Yes.”
“There isn’t anything particularly grand…”
When he answered, bewildered, Kyungseo looked displeased.
“Even something small is fine, so tell me.”
“Mm.”
It was a hard request to handle. Heewook pushed off his knees and stood. Kyungseo’s gaze followed his movement.
He glanced around in case people were paying attention to him, but everyone seemed busy with their own tasks. The behind-the-scenes cameras were far enough away that it didn’t feel too burdensome.
Letting out a big breath, Heewook studied Kyungseo’s expression.
‘Is he asking just because he’s bored?’
But the way his eyes were shining was too bright for him to be idly making the person next to him do this and that out of boredom. Maybe he really wanted to do proper idol acting; unlike his usual blunt self, he was full of eagerness, which was a bit…
“He’s working really hard.”
It even felt a little cute. Just a little.
Heewook picked up the microphone lying beside him.
“When you’re on stage and you see the fans, there are times your eyes meet.”
A man this tall and handsome almost never sits in the audience, much less in the front row. Stifling a laugh at the sudden thought, Heewook continued.
“Then, instead of looking away—”
“…not look away?”
Kyungseo, too, looked up fixedly at Heewook. The low voice and the unreal, clear-cut features made Heewook tense up all over again. He needed some mind control.
“If you smile… wouldn’t that do?”
That man is not actor Cheon Kyungseo; he is a fan who has come to see my stage. Like that unknown man who greeted me from afar on the day I enlisted.
Muttering inwardly, Heewook relaxed his face and lifted the corners of his lips.
As if he had returned to being an idol draped in dazzling lights, Heewook smiled brightly.
Immersing himself by assuming a familiar situation, he stopped worrying about anyone’s gaze.
He smiled comfortably as if there were no one in the world but the idol who was him and the fan in front of him. For an instant, Kyungseo’s eyes flew wide.
“Just like this?”
“…”
“Uh, and if possible, you can do a high-five or even hold their hand.”
Kyungseo stood there without a word. Maybe it was so trivial he’d been left speechless. Feeling awkward, Heewook scratched his cheek.
“Why no reaction? Was that not it?”
He set the mic down and crouched again at the edge of the stage. Frozen in place, Kyungseo finally took his hands off the stage and stepped back when Heewook came closer. He let out a puff of a sigh and started to muss his hair, then, realizing there was still filming left, pressed his forehead instead.
“What is it?”
Startled by the unsettled look on Kyungseo’s face, Heewook asked again, and he lifted his head.
“Hyung.”
“What.”
“You really should be an idol.”
With a furrowed brow, he spoke like someone angry.
Blinking, Heewook let out a hollow laugh.
“I was.”
“No.”
Just then the FD called out to Kyungseo from afar. His name boomed through the hall. As Heewook was naturally about to turn that way, Kyungseo’s voice shot through, hitting home.
“You should keep doing it.”
The quiet voice shot straight like a flash of light. Heewook flinched and turned back, but Kyungseo had already turned his body and was walking toward the FD.
Heewook stared blankly at that straight back, at Kyungseo’s figure growing more distant. With each step he took, a loud sound rang out.
Thud, thud, thud, thud.
Even as he went farther away, the sound did not grow smaller. He was short of breath as if he had just done a string of intense dance stages.
Startled by the unfamiliar sensation, he pressed his left chest hard with his fist.
“What is this?”
Heewook bit down on his parched lips and hurried down from the stage.
With nowhere to go, he leaned his back against the wall. His head felt fogged and numb. His heart throbbed as if it had been kicked hard.
The concert scene Heewook would be in didn’t start filming until after ten at night. His role was to watch the concert among the background performers playing fans. Heewook was given a glow stick that lights up when you snap it.
All the cast, including the background performers, had had their temperatures checked and completed self-diagnosis, but to prepare for any unforeseen risk they stood at a suitable distance from one another. Everyone kept their masks on and only took them off right before the cameras rolled.
Heewook stood in the front row by the fence. Then he put on a mic and looked up at the actors playing idols under the dazzling lights.
“You all don’t often get makeup this heavy, right?”
At Donghun’s casual question, Eunseong and Hyeong-gyun glanced at each other. Hyeong-gyun gave a little laugh.
“I’ve got times I wear it even heavier. Musicals are even tougher.”
“I used to wear a lot too. Kyungseo probably doesn’t, though.”
Following Hyeong-gyun’s answer, Eunseong chimed in. Because they were speaking into mics, even Heewook down below could hear clearly. Both Hyeong-gyun and Eunseong must have had at least as much experience as Donghun, if not more.
At the oddly dismissive remark, just as Heewook bristled on Eunseong’s behalf as well, Kyungseo answered flatly,
“That’s right.”
With red shadow used for his eye makeup and even glitter stuck beneath his eye, Kyungseo looked completely different from usual. But it didn’t look strange.
Eunseong looked at him and grinned.
“It suits you, though.”
Heewook agreed. Though Kyungseo wore a wry expression.
For the concert scene they recorded only one song. It was a short shoot compared to the prep time. After they performed a group dance of not-too-high difficulty, the camera would do close-ups of each member one by one.
He’d heard they’d only had one full-group practice on the schedule, but perhaps because the blocking wasn’t complicated, everyone executed the choreography without mistakes.
Heewook waved the glow stick mechanically and watched the stage. Seeing the people on stage didn’t make his head go numb with envy, nor did he feel sorrow at not being up there himself.
He figured it must be the large sense of dissonance coming from an atmosphere clearly different from an actual concert, including the unfamiliar sight of standing-room audience members spaced at regular intervals.
“Thank you!”
But at the end, when they all joined hands and bowed, and when Eunseong, with a full heart, gave a booming thanks, he choked up.
In that moment, Eunseong’s expression wasn’t acting. It was a sight he had seen many times.
Feeling like his nose was about to sting as he looked at Eunseong’s face, Heewook quickly shifted his gaze. Then his eyes met Kyungseo’s at center.
The camera was doing a close-up on someone other than Kyungseo. Having just danced, Kyungseo’s chest rose and fell. He was staring straight at Heewook, who stood in the first row on the side. There was no way to know how long he had been looking.
‘Why is he looking?’
While Heewook was standing there slack-jawed, Kyungseo faintly smiled.
“…Ah.”
Without realizing it, Heewook squeezed the glow stick tight.
As Kyungseo smiled under white lighting, the star stuck beneath his eye flashed and sparkled.
It was as if he had been chosen by the god of lighting.
He was by no means an “idol-type handsome,” but if he had debuted in an idol group, he would surely have monopolized the ending solo shot.
When Heewook froze, eyes wide, Kyungseo soon wiped away the smile and turned his gaze. Only then could Heewook move again.
The shoot wrapped in a single take without any NGs, and the background performers started filing out of the standing area. Heewook stared vacantly down at the glow stick in his hand.
“You should keep doing it.”
The words Kyungseo had given him kept surfacing. So did the sight of him blazing brilliantly in the place where he stood.
“That would be nice.”
Heewook gave a bitter smile. He truly wanted to promote as an idol again, and to keep doing it. He wanted to feel once more the thrill of being on a stage he knew so well.
But he had no idea how. The more his desire swelled up, the darker the road ahead felt.
“Thank you for giving us a ride on the way here.”
The next day, together with Eunseong, Heewook thanked Kyungseo’s manager, Woojin.
Woojin rubbed the back of his head and let out a hollow laugh.
“It’d be great if we could go back together too, but we’ve got a schedule. What a shame!”
“It would be too shameless of us to ask you to take us back too.”
They said Kyungseo had to stop in Suwon on the way. Some kind of goodwill ambassador appointment on the schedule. Heewook looked at the silent Kyungseo standing beside him.
“Take care.”
Maybe because they had filmed without a break the day before, the shadows under Kyungseo’s eyes were darker than usual. When Heewook said goodbye, Kyungseo let out a faint sigh and nodded.
“You too… both of you.”
“Yeah.”
“See you at the next shoot.”
At Kyungseo’s words, Heewook gave a small smile. He would be seeing Eunseong again often, but he had only a single day left to film together with Kyungseo.
“Yeah, see you.”
Heewook answered shortly. After staring fixedly at him, Kyungseo turned first and got into the van.
On the train back to Seoul with Eunseong, Heewook thought about Kyungseo.
He had expected a snotty celebrity who tossed his words out carelessly, but the more he saw him, the more he seemed like a decent kid.
At times, the way he acted in a manner fitting someone newly twenty was quite cute. He even thought it would be nice if they became close enough to exchange messages not only for things like acting advice but also for more personal matters.
It was a pity that there seemed to be little time to grow closer, with only one scene of his left to shoot. On the train, Heewook diligently practiced the remaining script.
But a few days later, a call came from the FD.
“Heewook-ssi, I feel bad to be making this kind of call.”
At the heavy sigh, all kinds of negative scenes flashed through Heewook’s mind. Hesitating to bring it up, the FD continued, sounding apologetic.
“I’m calling about a schedule change. The scenes where you appear have been removed.”
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