Pen and Paper Translations

 “Uh, uh?”

Riu’s mouth fell open at Matthew’s answer that came in right on cue.

The words were embarrassing enough, but it was the way Matthew acted as though nothing were odd that made Riu’s eyes dart awkwardly.

“Why that reaction?”

“I’m just a bit flustered.”

“No need to be. Mixing with crowds has never really been my taste.”

Riu blinked at Matthew’s remark.

He’d thought Matthew was sociable with lots of friends, but apparently not.

“What are you thinking?”

“Just that your way of making friends is… a little unusual….”

Matthew laughed out loud at Riu’s comment, loud enough to drown out the pounding rain.

Riu tilted his head, wondering what exactly was so funny.

After laughing for quite a while, Matthew wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

Still smiling, he leaned closer and asked:

“Isn’t it hot?”

“…H-huh? N-no, I’m fine.”

The sudden nearness made Riu’s heart thump.

Seeing his face still flushed to the collar, Matthew whispered softly,

“Shall I take it off for you?”

“What?”

“Why so startled? You look sweaty, so I asked if I should take your coat off.”

At some point Matthew’s gentle hand had settled on his shoulder.

He drew closer, eyes curving in a soft smile as though ready to undress him right now.

Riu’s heart pounded without a chance to calm.

“Riu.”

“…Y-yes.”

Squirming, Riu tilted the captured shoulder sideways, putting a handspan of distance between them.

“Why are you so stiff? Relax a little.”

By now Riu half-suspected Matthew was doing it on purpose. He teasing him because it was fun.

Uneasy, he pursed then released his lower lip.

Matthew’s eyes flickered at the way Riu’s cheek puffed.

In a voice dropped low, he said,

“Don’t do that in front of others.”

“Do what?”

Caught off guard, Riu fluttered his eyes.

What had he done just now…?

Thinking hard, he pursed then released his lips again.

Matthew swept back his hair as though that confirmed it.

“Yeah, that.”

“Why?”

“It’s really…”

He must have whispered the last word on purpose. Riu only caught the first syllable, “ya-,” but no word starting with that came to mind.

Uneasy at the strange tension, Riu only fidgeted with his hands.

It was just a passing shower, yet today the rain felt unusually long.

If only it would stop so they could leave.

For some reason he suddenly missed the other two, probably sheltering elsewhere.

“Riu.”

A breath-soft voice calling his name made Riu gasp.

And the memory he’d wanted so badly to recall chose this moment to flare.

Riu….

It felt like Matthew had murmured his name over and over beside his ear all through the night.

Between his drunken voice and ragged breaths, fragments of that memory rekindled like sparks, seeping stickily along his skin.

After calling him so many times, it made no sense that Matthew couldn’t remember him.

Unless, like Riu, he’d drunk himself blank.

One of those two.

“At the masquerade… you were there too, right?”

Here it comes, Riu thought, planting his toes.

His hammering heart felt like it dropped with a thud to the ground.

The small mercy was that Matthew’s voice held no certainty.

The tentative “you were, right?” let Riu shake his head in denial.

“No… I don’t like those places.”

Tension hardened Riu’s face into an unintended glare.

Feeling guilty, he glanced at Matthew.

Those eyes, fixed on him, rippled deep as a night-lake.

“Really?”

The flat, almost expressionless face made Riu’s throat bob.

He waited for Matthew to go on.

“I spent the night with someone that day.”

“Oh.”

The blunt confession made Riu swallow hard.

What if Matthew already knew?

He clenched his fists so tight the bones showed.

Matthew sighed too softly for Riu to hear and raked a hand through his hair.

“But I can’t remember. I don’t know who it was.”

At the whispered words, Riu let out the breath he’d been holding.

Matthew closed his eyes long, like a man a little deflated, then relaxed his fist.

“Why are you… telling me this?”

“No reason.”

“Huh?”

“Just wondered what you would do in my place.”

Matthew tossed the words with a careless look.

Riu felt sorry, but lying seemed safest.

Better ignorance than blushing over a forgotten night.

Though selfish, he said what he didn’t believe.

“If it were me, I’d let it go. Since the other person isn’t looking for you, maybe they feel the same.”

“…”

“Probably best to write it off as a one-night mistake. Something that happened… drunk—”

“How do you know I was drunk?”

Matthew’s eyes curved gently.

His face was as mild as spring sunlight through leaves, but the gaze was not. The smile looked like that of an emotionless doll.

Frightened, Riu stammered then pressed his lips shut.

“Just kidding. But there’s one thing you don’t know. Want to hear it?”

“Yes…?”

With Riu’s answer, Matthew took his hand.

Wondering why, Riu looked down to see Matthew’s fingers lace into his.

“It’s that I won’t dismiss a night as a mere mistake. My sincerity is that precious.”

“…”

“So I plan to sleep with that person again. If they don’t remember, I’ll make sure they do… Don’t you think?”

Matthew’s lips curved dangerously as his gaze bore in.

If he catches me, I’m done, Riu thought, forcing a stiff smile, cold sweat prickling down his back.

“So. I’m looking for that person. Will you help me?”

“What?”

“They stole my sincerity and bolted. Fearless, right? As my friend, Riu, you’ll help me, won’t you?”

A fleeting glint flashed in Matthew’s eyes.

This wouldn’t just be over. If caught, Riu felt he’d be doomed.

How valuable was that sincerity that it had to be him?

Eyes stinging inside, he managed a faint smile.

Seeing that face, Matthew smiled too.

He brushed a strand of hair from Riu’s forehead and whispered softly,

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“…”

“Thanks, Riu.”

The answer had been decided before Riu knew it; his face drained pale.

But he soon steadied himself and slipped his hands free.

Biting his lower lip at the swirl of thoughts, he decided refusing wasn’t an option.

Since things were like this, he might as well stay close and watch.

If Matthew realized Riu was the one he sought, then he’d run for his life.

“All right.”

Matthew’s face brightened at Riu’s reply.

Raindrops still clung to his wet black hair; deep shadows lay under his brow bone.

In the weather-darkened air he looked perfectly at home, and Riu could only breathe slowly.

Riu…