Pen and Paper Translations

[Music industry giant Lee Moon-seok announces his desire to collaborate with “Min Hyunseung,” the genius producer on his upcoming album…]

[Genius composer and producer Min Hyunseung confirmed as a judge on major audition program “K-Voice”…]

[Boy group BYU tops the Billboard chart for eight consecutive weeks with “tomorrow”; sparks interest by crediting producer Min Hyunseung in their acceptance speech.]

Every single one of my releases shot to the top of the music charts.

And yet, I’d never learned proper composition techniques.

A nice house, a fancy car, and steadily increasing royalty income…

Looking back on it, I really lived as though the entire world lay beneath my feet.

“Name your price—I’ll get the money somehow, so please give me a song…”

“Composer, I have a really talented friend…”

“I’m begging on my knees here—just one chance…”

Everyone bowed and scraped for one of my songs, because a track from me was basically a guaranteed success.

That day was no different.

“It’s 2 billion won. We sold our house, our car, took out bank loans—even resorted to private loans. We’re betting everything on this album…”

The president of a small management company showed up, bag of money in hand.

The request was simple:
They wanted a song for one of their contracted artists.

“I don’t think so.”

Why did I refuse back then?

“Please…”

Was it because the money they offered wasn’t nearly enough to sway me?

“I said, I’m not interested.”

It certainly wasn’t because the amount was too small.
I’d given songs away for less, and sometimes for no money at all.

Probably, I just… didn’t feel like giving them a song.

“…I’ll die.”

Should I have agreed back then?

“…If you won’t give me the song, I’ll kill myself.”

His eyes looked as if he was truly on the edge of a cliff.

Even so, I simply turned away with a dismissive wave.

“Then go ahead and die.”

Those few words caused the first crack to appear in my life.

---

[CEO Kim Moon-seok of CS Entertainment found dead at home!
Bereaved family: “It’s because of composer A.”]

That was when my life truly began to crumble.

[Late CEO Kim Moon-seok’s suicide note and tape recording discovered — composer A under urgent investigation…]

The small-company CEO who had threatened to kill himself if I wouldn’t give him a song actually followed through.

If he had enough courage to die, then why couldn’t he have tried harder to save his company? That’s what I wished I could have told him.

“Damn it…”

The problem was that all the blame for CEO Kim’s suicide was pointing straight at me.

The “composer A” mentioned in the articles was obviously me… and people were sure of it, hurling accusations my way.

They’re saying composer A has got to be Min Hyunseung. He was already notorious for having a terrible personality, right?

↳ Insiders say he’s known for power-tripping, and there are rumors about his messy relationships with women.

↳ I heard plenty of singers retired from the industry entirely after working with him.

But his songs are good, aren’t they?

↳ I’m boycotting him.

↳ Whatever, he’s basically a murderer.

A former classmate just posted claiming he was bullied by Min Hyunseung in school. Coordinates attached.

↳ Shouldn’t we at least fact-check first?

↳ Fact-check? Come on, you can tell just by looking at him—he was definitely a bully.

↳ Yeah, bet he had a foul temper from childhood.

From the moment the suicide news hit, speculative rumor articles exploded in number and scale.

It was like a collective madness.

Sure, I’d been temperamental during projects or thrown my weight around with some industry people—that part had some truth. But the stories about school bullying, or frequenting nightclubs and brothels, were complete lies.

Wow, looks like Min Hyunseung, once the king of the hill, has completely fallen. LOL.

↳ Probably can’t work in the industry anymore.

↳ Serves him right, so creepy.

My agency just told me to “stay quiet” and then cut off contact.

“Screw this…”

People mocked me as though I’d lost everything.

For a moment, I believed it myself. But I still had one crucial thing left:

Talent.

I told myself: just release new songs under a new alias. There would definitely be people willing to buy them, and others who would line up to perform them.

Talent alone had gotten me this far—what could possibly go wrong?

“Everything’s going to be fine.”

Ring, ring.

Then suddenly, my phone rang.

“Hyuna.”

I frowned at the caller ID. We weren’t exactly on casual-calling terms; it was my younger sister, Hyuna.

– “Oppa, get to the hospital right now.”

Her urgent voice told me everything I needed to know—something had happened to Dad.

---

They say good fortune and misfortune often strike together.

“What… on earth is going on…?”

It had been a few months since I’d seen my father. He was almost unrecognizable—scrawny, with a yellowish tinge hovering over his face.

He was hearing-impaired, and had been battling pancreatic cancer for quite some time.

“Why didn’t you tell us until it got this bad?!”

His condition was definitely worse than the last time I’d seen him.

“Min Hyun, how could you…?!”

Then he made a sweeping motion with his hands to separate us.

– “Why are you two fighting?”

He spoke slowly in sign language, barely audible. I raised my voice without thinking:

“Why didn’t you say anything until it got this bad?!”

Hyuna cut in:

“Oppa, have you even been home once in these past few months?”

“What…?”

“You act like sending money is enough.”

I’d just assumed everything was going fine.

Business was going great, so I figured Dad’s condition would improve, too.

I made that assumption and left everything alone, using “I’m too busy” as an excuse.

I’d been living comfortably, all by myself.

“That’s—”

Before I could defend myself, Hyuna stormed out of the hospital room.

– “Hyunseung, don’t fight with your sister. Once I’m gone, you two only have each other.”

Using sign language, I replied:

– “Don’t say stuff like that. Don’t worry about the hospital bills. We can do whatever surgery or treatment you need. Just get better.”

He gave a weary nod in response, as if to say “We’ll see.” Then—

“Huh?”

I spotted some sheet music on the side table by Dad’s bed.

“What’s this…?”

They were the scores for my own songs.

– “I had Hyuna get them for me.”

– “Why would you need sheet music…?”

He was hearing-impaired. What use would he have for musical scores?

– “No reason.”

He made it sound unimportant, so I just nodded.

– “Hold on a minute.”

I decided I needed to talk to Hyuna, so I left the room.

“Min Hyun.”

I saw Hyuna sitting in a chair at the end of the corridor.

“Can we talk for a second?”

“I’ve got nothing to say.”

“How’s Dad…?”

With a troubled expression, Hyuna answered:

“They said he doesn’t have much time left.”

Her eyes immediately began to fill with tears.

“What…?”

It was like a bolt from the blue.

“They said the cancer cells have spread everywhere and there’s nothing they can do…”

Right then—

“What?”

My vision went hazy, and my ears started buzzing with a deafening noise.

“Uh, uh, uh…”

Hyuna shook my shoulder.

“Oppa, what’s happening to you?”

Suddenly, everything snapped back into place.

“It’s… nothing.”

With that, I abruptly stood up and walked away.

“Oppa! At least say goodbye to Dad!”

I could hear Hyuna shouting desperately behind me as I ran out of the hospital. Only when I staggered through the doors did I realize—

Pant, pant…

For a moment, I had forgotten how to breathe.

I was certain of it:

Something was wrong with my mind.

---

How much time passed after that?

“Narsi.”

That became my second name as a producer—short for “narcissism.”

I thought it fit me perfectly, given my self-absorbed nature.

I released music under my new alias.

“This is exactly what I expected.”

As predicted, everything I released under that name shot straight to the top of the charts.

Controversy aside, talent doesn’t simply vanish.

“That’s more like it…”

The public is not that quick or discerning. They boil with rage in one moment and then cool off the next.

Min Hyunseung was quickly forgotten.

Even if someone kills another in a drunk driving accident, has a scandalous private life, or if criminal charges or drug use are revealed, the public only demands a short period of self-reflection before promptly moving on.

“At least in my case…”

I convinced myself my wrongdoing wasn’t all that serious.

It wasn’t entirely by my own choice, was it?

“Right, just for now.”

I planned to keep a low profile for a while. Eventually, I’d go back to using my real name.

However.

Not long after:

[Shocking truth behind genius rookie composer Narsi.]

[Exclusive: Is Narsi actually Min Hyunseung?]

[Min Hyunseung revealed to have been active under a new alias…]

My name took over the entertainment news once more.

Leaked by an insider, or maybe a whistleblower?

People lined up to throw stones at me, as if they’d just been waiting for the chance.

Wow, so he crawled back out just to make money after killing someone? Is he even human?

↳ What does it matter if he’s good-looking or talented? His personality is trash…

↳ You can’t be that shameless. What was he even thinking?

↳ He changed his name, topped the charts again—what must he have been feeling? Haha.

After that, I started forgetting how to breathe dozens of times a day—my panic disorder had severely worsened.

Medication offered temporary relief, but left me dazed for the rest of the day.

– “Look, you know we can’t keep this contract going under these circumstances, right? Maybe this is a sign you should take a good break.”

Amidst the constant barrage of criticism, my agency notified me they were terminating my contract.

To make matters worse, as my panic disorder reached its peak, my sister called again.

– “Oppa…”

“Hyuna… what’s going on?”

I rushed to the hospital, where I found my father in the ICU.

Hyuna had cried so much through the night that her eyes were swollen, and she seemed to have no tears left.

“Shouldn’t he have surgery right away?”

Hyuna shook her head.

“They said his liver function is too low for surgery, and the cancer has already spread there…”

She continued in a trembling voice:

“They said… it’s time to prepare ourselves.”

A realization hit me:

Is there anywhere left to fall from here?

---

Dad was a frugal man.

He left behind just one box of possessions—everything he considered worth organizing.

Half of that box was my sheet music.

“Sheet music…”

He’d even had it in his hospital room.

– “I asked Hyuna to bring it.”

Why would my hearing-impaired father want my sheet music?

It was a small curiosity that gnawed at me. While Hyuna was tidying up the living room, I approached her.

“Hyuna, something’s been bothering me.”

“Yeah?”

“You know Dad had my sheet music in his hospital room?”

She nodded.

“He asked me for it.”

“But… he can’t even hear.”

After a pause, I asked, “Why would he need sheet music?”

Hyuna replied carefully:

“He said he was curious.”

A momentary silence.

“He said he wanted to imagine what your music might sound like by looking at the notes. I took it to him, and he just spent the entire day staring at it…”

Dad, while poring over my sheet music, had said:

“It upsets me so much, it makes me cry.”

Ah…

What was going through his mind?

Right then, Hyuna lowered her head.

“Min Hyunseung,” she said in a low voice.

She came to the point:

“Let’s just live like strangers from now on.”

“Hyuna, you—”

“I’m sick and tired of everything.”

Our relationship had festered for too long to be repaired by the word “family.”

Where did it all go wrong?

With Dad gone, there was nothing to hold us siblings together.

“Hyuna…”

Maybe this was inevitable.

“I’m leaving.”

Hyuna made it as far as the doorway, then stopped to speak:

“You’re just getting what you deserve, Oppa.”

“Hyuna…”

“Keep living selfishly, just like you always have.”

She added, “At the very least, live better than everyone else.”

“Min Hyunseung!”

“You’ve thrown away your family and everything else.”

With a final surge of anger, she concluded:

“Might as well live better than anyone else.”

Then she left.

Bang.

The door slammed shut.

---

Before long, I visited the river alone, where I had scattered Dad’s ashes.

“Dad, I brought these for you as well.”

I set down a thick bundle of sheet music tied with string.

“What was so special about these that you practically wore them out reading them?”

I perched precariously on the breakwater, sheet music in hand.

Flick.

I lit the pages with a lighter, and they went up in flames.

“If there’s a next life, I promise I’ll play it for you then.”

In the chaos of it all, I’d thought I’d run out of tears, but…

Sending Dad off by myself, tears kept falling from my chin.

Hundreds of pages.

I must’ve burned hundreds upon hundreds of sheets before finally brushing myself off and standing.

“Huh?”

Just as I was shaking away the last bits of ash, that buzzing sound returned to my head.

It hurt like hell.

I couldn’t breathe; cold sweat started pouring down.

My cursed panic attack hit again.

Gasping, as always, I forgot how to breathe and collapsed on the ground, moaning in pain.

It was worse than usual; there was nothing I could do.

“Ughh…”

I tried to take out my phone, but my trembling hands fumbled and dropped it into the water with a splash.

“Please…”

In an instant, my field of vision went dark.

Then, a pitch-black stillness washed over me.

Could Hyuna have been right all along?

Is this truly the result of my own karma?

I don’t know.

But if I ever get a second chance…

“I want to live differently…”

A life that isn’t plagued by endless misfortunes explained away as mere karmic retribution.

“Dad…”

Only at the edge of death did I finally want to compose a song just for him.